Monday, November 10, 2008


Here we go again.

iPhone clone haters, rejoice. We now have a new product to loathe, rub between our shoe and concrete, play frisbee with, and naturally mock accordingly on all major tech websites so long as RIM sees fit to produce something that so blatantly copies the now #1 phone on the market today.

So, which would you want. The sleek and forever amazing iPhone, or the Vista-like Wow of a new Blackberry Storm. You have a choice. What is yourx? Which makes me ask myself, why doesn't that thing autocorrect? Incapable? Oops.

Still, props. Look at that amazingly colorful home screen with it's neatly organized user friendly interface. Now that's a product that draws me in. Just take a look at what you could be getting! Ease of use, simplicity, minimalism, a cheap and light feel, and that's just the beginning. It also comes the satisfaction of owning a piece of history... Or something... I guess.

This just inspires me to customize my car in some obnoxious way. I can't stand 3 things. Bad cuisine, overcooked pasta, and iPhone clones. Maybe there are more, but that's all I can think of right now. Damn clones. Didn't the Government say this wasn't allowed or something? Honestly.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


It's been 50 days people.

50 days. There's something political about that number. I'm not sure why.

That's almost, if I do the math correctly, a mathematical shitload of days.

What has happened since the 15th of September?


Tony Fadell is leaving Apple, which is a shame because he was great with the iPod, but now wants to be a regular iFather to regular iChildren. Can't say I blame him on that one. At least his children won't make him do 90 hours a week.

Steve released new Aluminum MacBooks to the world. Thank you, Steve, oh forgetter of the Mac Mini - the little GodBox that so many Windows users turn to when their Gateway towers turn themselves into burnt toast for no other reason just because... Garbage.

So what else has been going on with my people of earth?

Oh, that's right. A little holiday fell upon us in which the premise seems to be that small unsightly children whom haven't bathed in days awaiting sugar and other garbage to rot their teeth show up at your doorstep and scream some slogan that they got from God knows where demanding the candy which they have knowingly so rightfully earned because of their dedication and helpfulness to the community in which they live only to come back hours later after they have taken your hypersnacks to toss rolls of asspaper and unhatched chickens at your place of residency simply because they have nothing better to do since their mothers have gone out to gamble away the preceding months paychecks and their overweight fathers are at home in their skivvies watching the newest episode of Mad Men.

Anyway, you all deserve another one of my excusplanations. I've been gone because there was no way I could handle an insightful critique blog like this without hundreds of requests to talk about Da 'Lection. Truth be told, I received no requests to do anything political, but I did receive a vision. No, I don't have a dream. I have an Obama.


Barack Obama is to become our BushReplacement. Took long enough.

I don't believe though I gave up the chance to make fun of this. That's ok. I will in the future. I can't give that up - honestly. Rock on, Palin. Rock on.

I want to close on something inspirational that I remembered I heard a while ago.

It's not that life is so short it's that you're dead for so long.

Make the most of your pre-eternal slumber people. Live crispy.

Skippy has returned to the building.