Friday, July 24, 2009

Chef Skippy Thorson

So today, I had another epiphany.

I had a craving. A craving for something extravagant. Something succulent. Something that only can come from the Gods themselves.

So I was in my kitchen, and I hear a voice. Sort of like Jesus, but a little higher pitched - almost as if the voice had just taken in a tiny bit of helium from the back room of a Rite-Aid.

The voice said to go for the gold. Go for Tuna.


So I said "ok voice, Tuna sounds good", and off I went. I then grabbed white bread to put it on - whose brand I will not mention - and plopped the slices on a plate. From off the pile of slices, an earwig bounced onto my plate.

Well that's just wonderfuck.

So I had another epiphany. This time, the voice sounded like a combination between the ShamWow Guy
and Gary Busey. Creepy, yes, but it told me to use a hamburger roll.

I happened to be watching Guy's Big Bite on the Food Network, because honestly, who doesn't watch that for 12 hours a day like I do?

What was the point of that story? Not to tell you that what I had for post-lunch / pre-dinner was delicious, but instead to announce a brand new idea I had.

People all over are poor. Let's face it. People all over are lazy. Let's face it. People all over are also hungry all the time. So I have a remedy.

Your personal Chef, Skippy Thorson, is at your forsaken service.

Once a week, I will post a new recipe for the All-American lazy man, based on my personal taste and experience, in a new blog entitled appropriately Chef Skippy Thorson.

Trust me, this is going to be good. Perhaps the food won't always be great, but the blog, and my Interweb Status will be.

I will update here again when I get that blog up and going. Skippy Thorson Home may take a lot longer than I expected, but this is as simple as adding a new blog, right? Right.

I think I'm going to update on Mondays, so poor people all over can keep the recipe in mind all through the week, and use it at a time where they are hungriest and laziest.

This is an exciting time... Or whatever all the big CEOs say.