Being Skippy Thorson

Farewell, Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T15:03:00.006-04:00

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." - Steve Jobs

Not once did I meet him, but Steve Jobs has touched my life in a way that many so-called icons and heroes of our time couldn't. I feel that God was gracious enough to put me on this planet at the same time as Steve. I was extremely lucky to witness the awesome presentations he gave, use the innovative products he dreamed up, and learn to really live a little from his inspirational way of perceiving life.

No words can describe what I really feel, and I can't believe he is really gone, but the legacy he created will never leave us. That's the most reassuring thing - that I'll always have a little bit of my hero with me every time I need to measure myself against someone truly great. He changed the world for the better, and it's always awe inspiring to realize that. We will all miss you Steve. Your impact on me has changed my life. Steve, I can't imagine life without your influence.

Last night, I learned about Steve's passing from a very close friend; a friend who equally holds Steve in a light brighter than most. A text read "Call me", and I did, knowing what we'd discuss. I was working on another project, and my concentration was blown. I opened up Safari to Apple's default start page. Three things I never thought I'd see were glowing on the screen in front of me. A large picture of Steve, his name, and below it, a set of years, "1955 - 2011", all in black and white. Ominously prominent, but very real.

I spent the evening looking up every major news outlet for articles about Steve. Some great, namely one by Walt Mossberg, and others very brief, but all of them had a common theme. A mythical titan of a man had left us, and no one again in creation will ever be able to step in to fill those New Balance shoes. I really thought hard about something; Steve Jobs lived for 56 years, each year seemingly more fulfilling than the last. Since the dawn of time, there has never been another Steve Jobs. Somehow, some way, I was given life at a time where I was able to watch him do what he did best. Innovate. I hope I can be an innovator someday.

"No one wants to die. Even people who wanna go to heaven don't wanna die to get there." - Steve Jobs

Think back to the scientific minds and philosophers you've read about in the history books. Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, and Isaac Newton all come to mind. Did you ever believe that you'd live to witness a man work who was equally as great, if not better than those minds? Steve Jobs belongs among those names so rightfully so, that already, you can open any book that relates to business in any way, and find some reference to Steve, Apple, or a product or industry they've created or changed. Some day, you'll be asked about this time, and you'll be able to talk about it because you were there.

This morning, when I woke up, I went for a drive. I came to a stretch of road between two towns where spreading fields surrounded you, and the road seemed to go on forever. I hoped in a way that it would, and that I wouldn't have to face reality for a while. A flock of geese flew overhead, and when I looked up, I noticed that there wasn't a single cloud in the clear blue sky. I didn't stop moving, but the world seemed to, if only for a moment, and I realized how lucky I am to have life in the face of death, especially here and now. Unfortunately, I had to turn off of that road, and I arrived at work, where I am a Network Administrator and Technician. I arrived at this job only because I was inspired years ago to get in to computers. I only got into computers because of Apple. In a way, I am where I am today because of Steve.

Two sets of dates will live forever in my mind; the 10 year period from 2001 to 2011. I remember where I was and what I was doing when the world lost Dale Earnhardt. An All-American hero in sports. I remember the shock of hearing that music legend Johnny Cash's house being burned to the ground. Now, I'll always remember the evening of October 5th, 2011, that I spent wide awake, reading and consuming everything I could about Steve Jobs. How I clung to the belief that I could somehow measure up one day. Maybe something I've done will mean something to someone, hopefully something I've said has helped somebody, and maybe what I just wrote made you realize that life is equally as fragile and precious for everyone.

Farewell Steve. You will truly be missed. You have touched my life, and endless others. I will always miss you.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." - Steve Jobs

Skippy's iPhone Event Predictions

2011-10-04T10:36:00.007-04:00

"It's been a long time. How have you been?"

To quote Aaron Lewis, "It's been a while" since I've done a prediction post regarding an Apple Event. So I figured I owed it to you.

You should suspect that there is no redesigned iPhone, given that we have very little to go on regarding new hardware leaks. I'll go on the record and say that the iPhone 4S / 5 is an updated iPhone 4. Apple is all about how the iPhone "feels in the hand".

The iPod Touch is the polar opposite of that mantra. It feels like crap holding it to your ear, and rightfully so, since it's not made to be held like that. A tapered iPod Touch certainly is. All of these tapered rumors are for the iPod Touch, and those might not even happen this year. The iPod Touch is only going to go white and gain the A5 this year. Tapered designs are on hold, if not for next year, then indefinitely. I'm 99.9% certain.

Will the iPod Classic hit the end of the road? Good news. No. It's still too early, and to give a product the axe so close to its 10th anniversary at Apple would insulting to the iPod itself. It says that no matter how long a product works well and remains wholly unchanged, there's always a chance that it's on the chopping block. It's strange, but it's the only explanation I have. The Classic will not only go unmentioned again this year, it will be untouched - pun intended.

The iPod Shuffle on the other hand is not safe. It's the iPod that no one really ever talks about. You don't hear that often how "I love my iPod Shuffle" or "I wish Apple added (Insert worthless feature here) to the iPod Shuffle" - it just doesn't happen. Maybe the iPod Shuffle is perfect the way it is? Hell, Apple went right back to what it was two generations ago with minor alterations. HELL! Even the iPod Nano is now based off of the iPod Shuffle!

That all adds up to a big problem. The Nano has now evolved to handle the only thing the iPod Nano is good for - a clip-on-and-go music player. Its design was proven the way it was a few years back, and it proven again now that Apple brought the design right back. How do you evolve it without upsetting people? You don't. Everyone gets pissed off when you do.

The Shuffle is closer to the end of its life than the Classic, and no one realizes it. At least with the Classic, people always want a storage bump. People never request the Shuffle gains anything. There's a reason for that.

So that leaves the Nano. It's possible that it will get a storage bump, a price drop, or maybe even both. There was also a rumor a while back that referred to the implementation of a camera in the Nano. How cool would that be? The world's most compact and portable camera? I might buy one just for that reason. AS LONG AS IT CAN TAKE STILL PHOTOS IF IT CAN TAKE VIDEO. Excuse me, fifth generation Clickwheel Nano? HEAR THAT?

Referring finally to iCloud, I believe that our hopes of seeing it under Snow Leopard are bogus. A screenshot went around a while back that v10.6.9 would include it. You know the only problem with that? The v. Apple NEVER adds little V's in front of an OS version number. iCloud, for us iUsers will be Lion-Only.

Yes, to get the free iCloud, you need to upgrade to Lion for $29. Would you expect anything less? I think not. Either you get your PPC apps under 10.6, or you get iCloud under 10.7. You can't have both. Apple doesn't roll that way.

Did I hit it all? I think so. Two and a half hours to go now, folks! We'll find out soon enough, won't we? I'll grade myself after the event. Stay tuned.

I'LL ACE IT. LIKE I ACE LIFE. FTW... Or whatever the kids say.

Who Wants To Buy Ad Space?

2011-06-29T14:15:00.004-04:00

So I had another epiphany. I want to make money because I'm greedy. I have ad space on my blog. This makes me put 2 + 2 together. It comes out to something around 5, actually.

I want to know if there are companies, advertisers, businesses, websites, or anything / anyone at all that is willing to buy ad space from me. Now, this is where things get interesting.

Maybe I can expand beyond my blog. Let's think Nascar. A giant company ad on the hood, trunk, fenders, and doors costs a certain amount of money. I'd be willing to sell ad space on my car, which gets parked in the lot of 2 local colleges as well as countless grocery stores. I'd be willing to sell ad space on the lid of my laptop that everyone sees. I'd be willing to walk around in company t-shirts for what it's worth.

Out of absolute curiosity, I'm wondering if anyone is willing to start buying out little bits of potential advertising space that already travel with me regardless.

Let the offers flow!

We're All Going To Die

2011-04-27T14:51:00.005-04:00

That being said, and that amazing helmet idea (thanks to explodingdog) taken into consideration, I have to say... We're all going to die.

I was falling asleep last night pretty early. It was about 2:00am. Just after I washed my feet Lord-Style and climbed into bed, I heard a voice. Yup, 'twas none other than good buddy Jesus. I wasn't necessarily listening because I was watching my recorded episode of American Chopper, and there was something about death and chocolates going on... Or something close.

Jesus was all like, "Yo, listen up. I've been thinking. Stuff's going down, and it's gonna go down hard. Bears are melting and the polar ice is slowly dying off, or so I was told." I was all, "I know Jesus, I know. What's the issue?"

Jesus was all like, "Yo, you aren't listening. I SENT A TORNADO YOUR WAY, and no one seems to care. You're in the Mohawk Valley. Things like this don't happen in places like that. The second largest Nuclear disaster EVER is happening right now - and that shit just got kicked up to a SEVEN - a huge earthquake happened under water that sent aftershocks well into the next month, Walmart is getting sued, and people are blaming Apple for something bad. Does this all add up yet? Does it add up to anything good if it does?"

I was all... "Well, it means that the Apple products sold at Walmart containing primarily Japanese components will all be going on sale pretty soon."

Jesus just shook his head.

Then he said, "I was actually looking at the white iPad 2."

I was like, "There you go, Jesus." We had a good laugh.

Then Al Gore came in, dressed like an Alaskan King Crab. He started yammering about animal conservation in colder regions. I promptly told him to go "pound sand", and that "I love seafood."

Then I woke up.

Moral of the story: No pizza before bed, no terrors in your head.

Apple Employees Speak On Behalf Of The Trevor Project

2011-04-15T15:04:00.005-04:00

After watching the full video intently about The Trevor Project on MacRumors, and reading 19 posts in to the accompanying thread, I was trying to see what morons could have voted negative on a video and write-up like that.

I was wrong to think that only a moron could vote negative on it, and even though I didn't need to admit what I thought, I'd rather admit that what I thought was wrong. 20 posts in, there was a comment from a user that I really liked:

"I have a couple problems with this approach. There's so much attention brought to this issue of specifically gay bullying that it's hard to see this outside of the framework of identity politics.

Where's the videos and support for fat kids being bullied? Aren't they suicidal, too, or are we saying here that gays have a particular emotional defect and weakness? They're not strong enough to tough this out? Is that the image the gay community wants to promote?

Man, being a fat kid in high school. That was rough. There were a number of cool, popular gay guys in my school. I'm sure they took some crap from some people, but oh how I would have rather been one of them! But hey, I'm still here, I'm still alive.

Bullying is a universal problem that affects just about anyone with some kind of difference others choose to pick on. It seems like everyone is just ignoring all that for this hip, trendy cause."

I see where he's coming from. I believe that this movement was primarily brought on my the hit TV show GLEE, with that main character that is gay, and is bullied all the time. I have to say, I've yet to see a movement to reach out to the overweight - those "fat" people. In which, I hate that F word more than Fuck.

I have seen many outreach programs to the homosexual; gay, whatever you'd like to call it. I see a massive arm hugging that community and embracing them with sympathy and kind words.

Then I turn on the television.

I see Dr. Phil ripping people's personal lives open, along with their fridge, to pry and interrogate why they're overweight. I see reality shows about the half-ton-teenager. I see no love. I see a society condemning heavy people just because they're overweight.

I similarly see many "For Homosexual Children" programs at school. I see no "For Overweight Children" programs - I see absurdly emphasized Physical Education programs, where emphasis is on playing Basketball and Baseball well, and if you can't handle it, then too bad; learn.

I do have to say, I voted positive on that article, because this video and this cause is excellent. My argument here seems negative because we've only begun to cater to one group. We need to embrace and care about everyone for all reasons - not just because everyone else is doing it. Doing that, don't we just get right back to where we started?

Damn...

That was extremely Un-Skippy.

Holy crap.

News about the hysterical side of natural disaster coming up soon!

Enquirer Picks On Steve Jobs

2011-02-17T12:38:00.001-05:00

On one hand, I have to say that even if it's true, it's like Mike said. I've had relatives in for cancer treatment, and each time, the end result was 'cancer-free'. However, those people still see cancer treatment specialists for check-ups. Cancer is a thing where, once you get it, you get checked in on for the rest of your life. That's the only way there is to learn anything about it.

On the other hand, I do actually believe this one is bogus, for a number of reasons.

A) When have we ever seen Steve wear a button down? I'm not saying mock-turtlenecks are all the man has, but I've yet to ever see him in a button down anything. Not even a full button down suit.

B) In the picture on the left, look at his hair. Steve has always had very short salt-&-pepper hair. The person in this picture has a rather long little tuft of hair flapping in the breeze. Let's remember that he had cancer. The last thing that would happen is a sudden burst of hair growth.

C) In the picture where his hand is circled (for who knows what reason) he's leaning up against a car. Unless he stepped off a curb, stumbled, and caught himself, I don't think he'd just lean up against a car. A car which certainly does not have a Mercedes-Benz tail light.

So, Intel Is Building MacBook Pros Now

2011-02-16T16:04:00.004-05:00

Let me make my triumphant return by explaining something about the above image that's sparked my interest.

It's not a Mac.... Well... Anymore. Here's why.

First off, see that glaring reflection on the screen, coming from the top right and going diagonal to bottom left? I challenge you to find an image of a Mac, of any sort, that DOESN'T have that exact same glare. It's identical to Apple's stock computer desktop images.

However, going across like that, they would have had to edit the entire image to depict the new screen. Would they go through all that trouble?

Second, the top left of that window with the car, you see that? On the very top left, are window controls functions. Where have we all seen those? They're the little traffic-light-looking-icons that represent the Close / Minimize / Expand functions of any single application on the Mac. Albeit small, you can certainly make them out. Even if you're one of the few that can't, there's no disputing that they're on the top left, and not top right, like any Windows computer would be.

However, the interface of that open window isn't exactly the spitting image of any Mac application that I've ever seen.

Third, on the main desktop of the computer, take a look at the bottom right. There's a little volume slider. You can tell it's a volume slider because of the icons on either side of it, and the color of the bar (and even the way the slider itself is) seems to resemble the iPhone volume sliders of the iOS.

However, that's one of the easier potential Photoshops on the page, if you really want to dispute it.

Fourth, is on that little window with the surfer off to the right. Nothing in particular I guess. It's just a little window of a program. That little surfer with the yellow board has been somewhere else, though.

However, does it not look similar to the new iMovie?

Fifth, I have to note the machine itself. As we can see, it's black. You're thinking, Apple hasn't offered a black computer since the black plastic MacBook. To take it a step further, if you want to compare screen sizes, it looks like more of a 16:10 ratio than 16:9. Let's just compare it to the available laptops... Looks a bit different. It's also shockingly thin if it's smaller than the MacBook Air since it has less of a tapered edge.

However, if you take a silver Apple laptop, and put it up against a white background, perhaps the easiest thing to do is to simply darken the image so much that it looks black. Something I do to my own pictures on occasion.

However, that can be construed completely wrong, and that's a story for another day.

Back to the Mac...

It's up to you to decide. Is Intel the culprit that should be locked up for leaking a new or redesigned Mac, or is it just the best mash-up of available laptops we've ever seen for a generic ad? Something to think about.

I always did say that Apple didn't change their own website for nothing. They darkened the color of their navigation bar, among adding some other effects. The color before was oddly close to their signature anodized aluminum unibodies. Someone didn't just go in and change that color without reason.

LiquidMetal has been rising in Apple's eyes, and maybe it's become the apple of their own eyes.

Back To The Mac Predictions

2010-10-20T08:33:00.005-04:00

You know what I haven't done in a while? Told you what Apple plans on doing today.

I want to keep it short at 3 main points, so here goes.

A) Steve will come out and give financial stats. Best quarter Apple's ever seen. Stock way up; milestones broken. iPad selling like hotcakes, iPhone constraints are finally easing up. That "10's of millions of FaceTime devices" claim will be happening soon.

B) Steve is going to move on to software. Two software discussions today - the new iLife, more than likely skipping that 2010 or 2011 dating issue, and Max OS X Lion

iLife is going to see some minor updates to Garageband, iMovie, and iPhoto, but the new program is so tightly under wraps that the only thing I can say is that it's going to be software creating software. It'll be schweet.

OS 10.7 is going to integrate a lot of what people have become accustomed to in the iOS. There's a chance that the auto-correct typing feature just may make an appearance in the desktop OS. Rubber-band scrolling is a definite future feature.

C) The MacBook Air. Are we kidding? Of course we know there's going to be a new air. I can't definitely confirm the dual USB thing, but it seems very likely. It is closely going to resemble the MacBook Pro screens, with the black bordered screen, but to keep price and weight down, it may not be glass - or at least maybe not the same glass.

The cool little feature about the lack of an optical drive means that there's a key on their standard keyboard that the MacBook air doesn't need. To save just that extra bit of room, and make it look more minimal, the eject button that's on most keyboards will be the power button for the Air.

The new version is going to look even thinner, and be a combination of the curvy and shapely white MacBook and the aluminum back of the iPad. It will definitely be 11.6", because as a widescreen laptop, the smallest you can go without downscaling the keyboard... Is the half way mark between 11" and 12". Anything smaller, and the keyboard takes a hit.

There you have it. Now, let's wait and see.

My Feelings About Ricers

2010-09-22T12:18:00.012-04:00

Have you ever gotten passed on the freeway by a Civic that looks like it could combust at any moment? Ever been challenged to a red-light showdown by some punk in a Subaru Impreza with a sail on the back that's 10 times more dangerous to you than the Cadillac rear fins from days long gone? Ever just want to shoot those people in the face with mace, or something else?

I have my reasons. You may not, or you may just not understand, but I'll clear it all up. Skippy's been gone for too long again, and the voice of wisdom hasn't helped you good folks for a long time. Every once in a while, I really need something to piss me off and push my buttons to get me going. Well. That happened recently. I'll explain my frustrations if you bare with me.

You know those kinds of people. The local college kids that all work at McDonald's and don't have a pot to piss in. You know exactly what I mean. Don't deny it, assface. Think about it. You hate them too, and you know all the reasons. Do I need to spell it out? Ok.

Consider the following:

A) The stereo with a sub in the trunk - because all good music belongs in your ass, enclosed in metal, and under the seats of your backseat drivers. See: Colon Cleansing.

B) The windows that are tinted so dark you don't know where they end and the paint / trim begins - because you're blocking UV rays from other suns in other galaxies? Who the fuck knows.

C) The spoiler that looks like it belongs on a boat in the Bahamas - because you really need REAR DOWNFORCE IN A FRONT WHEEL DRIVE IMPORT CAR, for those times where you hit +200mph supercrazyfastGforcespeeds.

D) The exhaust tip that's the double the size of a Folger's coffee can - because when your supercrazyfastRicer overheats, the only method of cooling is a tube the size of a fucking dryer hose.

E) The amazingly huge wide-body fiberglass kits that weren't even made for that year and model car - because when you can't drive, the one thing that'll help is making your hatchback the width of a Dodge 3500 dually 2-ton pickup. How do you make it look better? Make sure it's not your car's color, and never, EVER paint it.

F) The relieving pressure of the bowls of the engine when your car farts a giant hiss - because your turbo is struggling to keep up and not explode, killing everyone in a quarter mile radius.

G) The need to accelerate at every single stop sign and green light at every corner of every city in America - because the one thing that's totally impressive to me is watching a car accelerate and smoke, reach 35mph, and need to hit their squeaking non-performance brakes so they don't fly into the living room of the house on the corner.

H) The urge to recline your seat as far as it can go, put one hand on the wheel, and the other, I don't even know, in your pants - because nothing says "hip" quite the same as looking like a woman in her hundreds who can't see over the steering wheel.

I) The dying pressure on themselves to cut me off while merging into traffic off of a ramp - because when I signal, that doesn't mean I'm getting in that lane or anything. OH, NO. That means that I want you to swerve as fast as possible, and cruise exactly where I'm going, at the same speed, so that I have to cut you back off, and flip you the finger. I have to. No questions.

J) The bumper stickers of companies, products, and brands that you like, or that you think are cool, that you put on the sides of your car - because it's really awesome to give your ride some Nascar sponsors, so that it looks like you're raking in money from all your awesome classic illegal street racing days.

K) The neon aftermarket DuPont colors you spray paint your car - because as we all know, just painting it yellow makes it faster. Just. Add. Yellow.

A close friend of dear Skippy had the following to say, and it rings so true, how could I not share and post it here? Read away!

"I just think it's ridiculous to take the smallest engine we can find and put it in a midsize economy car and pretend it's a sports car. Maybe these people can find a new job other than McDonald's that pays better and buy a real car. I don't have problems with nice Acuras or Infinitis (other than I would rather a Cadillac or Mercedes Benz) but these 1992 econo-boxes turned Ferrari looking sports cars are getting on my nerves. Other than that I'm fine.

There's nothing like seeing an inline four Honda Civic (or whatever is fashionable this week) decked out with a body kit and a huge sail on the back with a turbo rolling down the street with loud ignorant rap music pouring out of it. These people say it's cheaper and more fuel efficient. I say it is cheaper. It's shit. You could rub my balls with how cheap it looks, feels, and just is.

With today's V6 / V8 advancements i4s are no longer the only efficient route for engines. Ford's 30+ mpg 305 hp V6 is an example. So basically their lack of education is blatantly apparent in not only what they buy but how they show it off.

I have a Stratus and I know it's a piece of shit, and it looks like one too. It's okay to have a shit car if you at least understand it's a basic automobile. But these people are proud to have the bottom of the line, not because they worked for it, but because they (naturally) think it's the best.

So there you have it."

Yes. Yes you do. Suck it, youth.

Anti-Civic 4eva... or something like that.

(Vtec... lol...)

I Thought This Needed To Be Shared

2010-08-16T02:08:00.000-04:00

"One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her."

The Government Legalizes iPhone Jailbreaking?

2010-07-26T12:24:00.008-04:00

Wow, what a great idea! This is entirely useful, I must say. Sounds too good to be true, right? We can all do whatever the hell we want, thanks to the Gov., regardless of what rules any number of companies put in place.

"Owners of the iPhone will be able to break electronic locks on their devices in order to download applications that have not been approved by Apple. The government is making that legal under new rules announced Monday.

The decision to allow the practice commonly known as "jailbreaking" is one of a handful of new exemptions from a federal law that prohibits the circumvention of technical measures that control access to copyrighted works."
- The Associated Press

No. No no no. This is not useful. This is the exact opposite. This is interference. This is the Gov. attempting to remdy something that NEEDS NO CHANGING. If people want to Jailbreak their devices, they assume 100% responsibility for what happens to it when they think they know what they're doing.

Has anyone really gotten to use a Jailbroken device? Those that answered yes, how many can say that the experience was optimal? Are we kidding ourselves here? Anyone can Jailbreak the iPhone if they want. Why should the Gov. come in and say that now Apple has to provide service to the suckers that do, when something gets screwed up, because THEY did it?

What is left to gain? Some really poor applications that didn't make the cut? Use of tethering when you didn't sign up for it with AT&T? Use of T-Mobile's network that explicitly breaks the AT&T exclusivity that's legally in place between them and Apple? What is there to gain from this?

This is bull. I'm sick of the Gov. sticking their noses and other appendages where they don't belong. It's about f'n time that SOMEONE with real power steps up in regards to this. What hand does the Gov. have in the consumer electronics market? NONE. 0. Bill Gates / Steve Jobs / Al Gore better do something, before the Gov. regulates what can and can't be on my iPod -- OH WAIT...

I'm sick of the Gov. having everyone by the cajones, while whatever they say goes, whether the vast majority of the American people agree or oppose. King Obama, ball's in your court, and naturally it's your best sport.

I didn't vote for these people. I voted for one president who was the lesser of two evils. I never said that person could do what is being done, the way it's being done.

Let me break it down even further...

In the current situation, Apple is against jailbreaking, and if they find you have jailbroken your device, they can deny service in regards to voiding their terms. In the new proposed situation, Apple can now not deny service to those who have jailbroken their devices. The user owns the phone, and can do what they want, and Apple can not say no to the user.

The problem with this is, Apple has set up a environment where they can control the quality of the product after it has left the hands of any Apple employee, and entered the hands of the user. If the user takes that product home, and jailbreaking - some third party's work - screws up that user's product, why should Apple help the user, when the third party is to blame, and neither Apple or the third party can affect one another? The only contact the user and the third party has, is through the product, when one or the other directly affect it in any way. A vs C via B / C vs A via B.

In the words of my main man Charile Brown:
I just can't stand it.

BP Stalls - Implies Oil Is Good

2010-05-26T07:25:00.004-04:00

That's why the oil keeps pumping into the Gulf.

Al Gore called them up and was like, "Guys, we needta get on dis thang, cause the fishies are dyin'."

Then, that really mellow drugged up BP dude was like, "Well, we're doing everything we can to get this thing under control, and we're happy with our success, and last weeks Success Bonus we all received, and we can't wait to get things kicked off, but we're saddened by the lack of acceptance with our idea on how to make the water more slippery for the fishies."

That's how it went down. It went down like that because, quite obviously, I was told, in person, by who else; my good buddy Jesus.

Anyway, I'm here to bring good news for all of those who are longing to watch that live feed of the oil spill, that almost never works, because of the thousands all trying to watch it at the same time.

BP, of all people, have posted a delayed-live feed of the spill. It works by not actually being live, but loading a recorded clip of live feed, which when loaded, will be about 10 minutes behind live, but at least it works.

Hopefully we'll get a real show soon, when the leak changes color more, because word is that we may have just tapped into a well of less gas-rich and more pure-oil-rich goodness. You can expect that camera to go down whenever BP tries something new too, because they don't want you seeing them fail live.

Google Acquires BumpTop

2010-05-03T13:54:00.003-04:00

I can't take this crap. Must they just buy everything with no actual intention to link it all?

This is EXACTLY what killed General Motors.

They have their greedy fingers in a little of everything, and they have no real ideas on what to do but acquire things and move forward with them, all snowballing as they go.

This is absolutely lunatic. BumpTop was one of the little guys I was rooting for, and they made a really cool useful product. Now it's going to be yet another bump (no pun intended) on the bigass pile of endless Google Beta.

Well, at least they still offer it free for another week.

Check out the message on their page. They're actually happy about it? My condolences, folks.

Damn you Google.

That's all I have to say.

Damn you.

Apple to Gizmodo: Gimme

2010-04-20T02:08:00.002-04:00

So, that iPhone that everyone is raving about now? You'll never see it again. It's gone, thanks to one drunk employee who left it at a bar, where it was picked up by some schmucks, sold to some more schmucks, and then torn apart by Gizmodo.

Well. Now they officially ruined it. Not the iPhone. The child-like wonder.

Do you REALLY think Steve is going to unveil a product on stage, to tons of people (intelligent tech-people) that the world over has already seen months before?

Hell no.

You people aren't getting it now.

So there.

You'll get an iPhone with no camera(s), removable Energizer batteries, and with Flash support. You'll all be pissed off with it, and you'll all wonder why. You'll all know why, though. You pissed off Steve... and Steve will not take that kind of shit from you kind of people. Steve will punch you in the chest, rip out your beating heart, and squish it, beating, into the pavement.

That is, unless Jony Ive doesn't stab you in the eyes with a soldering iron.

...and unless Scott Forstall doesn't code you to death.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. Revenge of the nerds, bitches.

More as this unveils.

Universal Health Care PASSED?!?!

2010-03-22T00:50:00.004-04:00

So this fucking thing passed? are you kidding me?

I've been gone enjoying the freedom that the world has to offer. I really have. To be honest, I gave a big old fashioned "SCREW THE INTERWEBZ"...

I got a summons from my good buddy Jesus, and he said "You know what you've gotta do? You've gotta spread the good word."

I'm like, "Listen, I go to church, I like you, a whole lot, but I don't know enough to preach-"

He cut me off. "I'm talking about that black dude. You know, the one that's only called half white when he does something stupid? Like now. Now that the Health Care Bill passed, he'll be half white."

"Oh. Yeah, Jesus. I know who you mean. That one. The one with the oversized gas hogging custom pimp limo. Right."

So I'm here now. I won't rest until this thing is sent back to the void and emptiness from which it came. Which is kind of odd, because I don't quite know how you'd fit a bill / law / novel between Nancy Pelosi's ears...

I Win Again

2010-01-27T23:26:00.004-05:00

For my 150th post, I tell you one thing.

Ha.

That's Right.

Ha.

I was right. I told you. A big flat iPhone. Sure the black strip didn't go all the way across, but I can be wrong every now and then right? Else my perfection just gets a little boring. I can't wait to get my hands on this thing.

Thank you again, Steve.

iPhone To Directly Influence The Tablet

2010-01-22T09:18:00.004-05:00

Oh, have I missed this place - but hark; I come bearing gifts of good news.

Jobs' and Ive's design ideas were spot on the first time around. The metal back of the first iPhone was a hit on all design fronts: simple, elegant, bold yet subdued. The only problem was that it was almost too flat, if you can believe that.

Too flat or too thin? iProducts? Never! No such thing, right?

Wrong.

That same form factor is coming back. Albeit, with more tapered edges, like the MacBook Air, you're going to see a giant iPhone next Wednesday. Until you actually turn on the device, it will look exactly like a wider, longer iPhone. From the glass and black front, to a metal bezel, to the anodized aluminum back - complete with that black plastic strip across the length of the device.

Ever see that story about the iPhone that got run over by a truck? Now imagine the truck was carrying a house. That's the idea of what you're going to be seeing here. The ultimate hybrid. Something that looks just like an iPhone, but with something that looks just like OS X. The happy marriage in the middle is what we're all going to have to wait and see.

I'm right again, and you'll all see come next Wednesday. If not... Well then I'll just disappear in cowering fear for as long as I have been.

Oh, happy 2010 fellow Interweberz.

Operation Surrender. Decent name? We'll see.

2009-12-28T23:45:00.002-05:00

Plan:
On AT&T's website, everyone has the option to select "Not My Device" on their AT&T dashboard. At the same time, we all switch our "Not My Device" to some random phone of our choosing.

Why:
If they don't want New York City to have the iPhone, then the entire state of New York should go along with their thinking. We won't have the iPhone. We'll have something else. If they really want us to, they'll have to switch it back.

When:
December 31st, 11:30pm. It'll be more than a simple few account fixes at that time. Everyone at AT&T will be gone or drunk or both, and who knows what kind of chaos this could create.

I say it's worth a shot. Let's go New York. Show AT&T that they're really the ones making the choice here. Stick it to them with a healthy dose of literal sarcasm. It's their call. Let them live with the consequences.

So I download Coconut Battery...

2009-12-04T15:50:00.002-05:00

...and those are my current stats.

Obviously, I used it on the only laptop I have; my iBook G4.

Why does this matter? That's the original battery...

From the final production run of these little powerhouses back in I believe 2003. I have the 1.33ghz model. The very last.

It's now 6 years old. On its way to a great big shun from even receiving Apple repairs or service of any sort. Still it lives. Rock on, little iBook. Rock on.

Dear Martha Stewart...

2009-11-22T23:33:00.003-05:00

You're an asshole. You are a wretched asshole.

You and your amazingly upscale foreign accent... from Connecticut.

Oh, and Rachel Ray is 10 times the cook you were, and 100 times over the person you think you are.

...because you so read this blog. Shove your folded napkins too.

Much love,
Skippy

Exclusive NASA Quote:

2009-10-09T07:37:00.002-04:00

"Billions of your tax dollars just went poof,
and you didn't even get to see it."

LBG SkippyT on Xbox 360 and Skippy on Sony

2009-10-06T13:20:00.008-04:00

So I've been gone for ages... Sue me. Would you believe me if I told you it was because of Microsoft? Yes, that's a gamertag.

So I got it... The Xbox 360 Pro. I urge everyone not to pick this one up. Just pass. Why? It will consume your life.

I found the Pro still for sale on Walmart.com, and used my discount. Complete with all the extra goodies, but without the expensive black paint job. So far, I have Halo 3, The Godfather II, and Nascar 08. It's a great system, and it makes me sorry I stuck with Sony for so long.

See now let me explain something to everyone that irritates me, now that I mentioned Sony... The Playstation was the first system. It was only called the PSONE when they released the smaller white one, replacing the fatass grey one. The Playstation 2 with the fans and tray loading drive was not called the PS2. The PS2 name accompanies the slim one with the car-hood-opening drive, no fans, and the built in internet capabilities. The Playstation 3 was the first there to - the rounded fat gloss black and chrome football-like console. The new slim version is the PS3. Do we understand that now Sony fans under the age of 5? Do we?

1) Playstaion > 1.5) PSONE > 2) Playstation 2 > 2.5) PS2 > 3) Playstation 3 > 3.5) PS3... The PS stands for Piece of Shit when they change a good thing. I refuse to buy the third in the line. There's no reason why they should discontinue the one console they had that could play all of the Playstion 1, 2, and 3 games. I don't want a software emulator, and I don't want one that can't do anything else at all. I want the hardware that was built in, left in.

I therefore abandoned Sony, because I have a Playstation 2 that works fine, and can play all of the Playstation 2 games just fine. All my gamer friends own an Xbox. I have two friends with a Playstation 3. Therefore, they are obviously not gamers. The only good thing about the Playstion 3 is Gran Turismo 5, but I am not about to wait until 2015 to play it. Let's face it, it ain't coming any time soon...

Long story short, LBG SkippyT. Find me, friend me... I may or may not accept, depending on my mood that hour. We'll see. I just love kicking ass in Halo.

Saturn = AT&T: A Different Kind of Company

2009-09-16T22:16:00.002-04:00

Never before have I gotten a return personal call from a higher up at a major company. So today, when a call showed up from a 405 area code, I was hesitant in picking it up - not knowing who it was.

It ended up being from Oklahoma, as my iPhone's Recent Calls told me after I hung up. A reverse lookup of the number confirmed it, though I can't find the caller's name. While, yeah he told me as I said 'Hello', but when he said "...calling from AT&T about that MMS issue..." I admittedly was so blown away that a company called me back, that I didn't catch his name.

From Oklahoma City, OK, all I could gather was a Tim or a Bill, but whoever it was helped out a lot. So much so, I switched my own tone. We talked for only about 10 minutes, but we actually both listened to one another as we each talked - which is a lot more than what happened with any of the customer service reps. He said I had some great points, and a great idea in one thing I suggested.

I told him how through all the agreements, terms of service, notices, statements, and right down to FAQs, there is no definitive clear understandable explanation on how AIM clients are regarded and counted as both Data and Text. He now told me they will certainly consider remedying that. They may do some sort of a bill insert, email notice, or post something on the website, but that something indeed needs to be said to put it out there clear and precise.

They're right. I admit it. Now the problem is trying to see what Apple is going to do to educate their staff. Will I do anything beyond this? Probably not. We'll see though.

Not only did AT&T refund my $3.65 overage, the guy that called offered me a complimentary month of service, waving my typical $72.43 bill for September for "pursing this matter as much as I have" and spending the time to stay on it.

I thank AT&T. I thank Apple. I also trust that something truly gets fixed. Thanks Tim or Bill.

Jay Leno, You Rock

2009-09-14T22:46:00.003-04:00

Jay Leno has always been my favorite talk show host of all time. He's great. He's a great person and a great comic.

He however just did what I hoped someone would - deliver the smackdown to Kanye West.

Moments ago, Kanye was speechless, and near tears, after being asked what his mother would have thought about the VMA deal with Taylor Swift and Beyonce.

He couldn't think of anything, and as much as I don't like him, you could tell he was affected by that thought.

Good. Go Jay.

(Updated x4) Does AIM count towards iPhone Text Plans? The verdict is in:

2009-09-11T10:58:00.008-04:00

...and the answer from A.A.A. is...

AOL: No
Apple: No
AT&T: Yes

From about 10 to 11 this morning, I talked to 3 different AT&T reps and 2 different Apple reps. Guess what? Apple says I shouldn't be charged, and AT&T says that I should. Surprising? Didn't think so. I told the Apple rep that if she could call me back at noon, that would be great - I had class.

Update #1, 12:45pm Friday -
I get home, and the rep calls at 12:02pm. Nice. Apple is on the ball, like I knew they were. She informs me I was right with how I figured the whole thing out - like this: I send an I.M. to an iPod Touch. They get it and respond. Since they don't use AT&T or any cellular work, that positively confirms that it is strictly DATA. I'm right. I knew it. I should not be charged she tells me. The only way it will count you will be charged is if you set it up to I.M. a phone number or if you have it set up to notify you via SMS. It should be counted as DATA when it is screen name to screen name.

She tells me my next step is to talk to AT&T again. She transfers me over, and with the other girl on the line, tells me to have a nice day. As I hear the click of her hanging up, the AT&T rep starts to tell me why I should be and am being charged...

She is useless. I then ask to be transfered back to Apple. I am. I get the customer service version of Jesus.

I then explain the entire situation. He goes "WHAT?! WOWWwww", and I laugh along with him. I told him about my theory of iPod to iPhone, and how it must be DATA and not SMS Text, and thus not counting towards my AT&T limit. He agreed entirely, and said to my delight "I'm going to have fun with this". I told him I had another class, and he said that he was going to call AT&T.

Update #2, 4:30pm Friday -
I get a call back at about 2:30pm, and he tells me that he has bad news. He says it looks like they're right. He then tells me some AT&T rep is on the line - yes, another one. She tells me the same thing I heard 4 times over already. That they charge for all iPhone messages as Text, be it through the Messages app or any Instant Messager app.

I then ask to talk to a higher up. I get her. She's clueless, naiive, ignorant, and plain rude. I explained the same thing to her yet again. Her response? You'll love this.

"The iPhone is a phone, and the iPod is not"... Translation; We can charge you whatever the hell we want because you're an AT&T customer locked in to our death grip contract. When I explained that the iPod and iPhone are basically the same hardware running basically the same software, that over Wifi, they both act the same way, she ignored it. Completely. She cut me off to tell me that it wouldn't be on my AT&T MyWireless account if I hadn't used it.

She repeated that a couple times, until I heard the tone in her voice go dry and strict. She repeated the same thing again. That the iPhone is a phone. Yes lady, I know that, the name gave it away...

So I cut her off finally. I told her that I give up, and that AT&T will just charge me whatever they want anyway. If they really want the $3.65 that badly, then they can have it, because I give in.

I hung up on her.

So in a nutshell, after 1 AOL phone rep, 4 Apple phone reps, and 5 AT&T reps, 2 of which were AT&T supervisors, I am left stuck with one answer.

Even if I'm right, and the text that goes through AIM is DATA, AT&T refuses to recognize it, and will charge it as SMS Text, because they don't care. Apple telling me it's free and AOL telling me it's free are both trumped by AT&T - because after all, they are high and mighty.

Tomorrow, I go to a local AT&T store. Let's see if Round 2: In Person leads to anything different. Bets anyone?

Update #3, 12:45pm Saturday -
The rep at the AT&T Store told me what I expected; that he simply "could not help me", and that I should call tech support.

I did this morning, and I got further than I did in collectively 5 hours of debate yesterday. The person I spoke to took the $3.65 off of my account, but only on the condition that I understand that AT&T is still billing me correctly. That AIM does count towards SMS Text messaging. He told me that while it does count towards DATA, it also counts towards the 200 text messages I have per month.

It's all ridiculous, but it's one small win for Skippy. That's $3.65 that AT&T will not be getting from me. In part, I win. In some says, I always win.

Update #4, 10:45pm Sunday -
I just got a text. I got a text. Are you reading that? Can you guess what I'm getting at? A text from AT&T FREE MSG... It reads as follows:

"AT&T FREE MSG: AutoPay Enrollment Change Confirmation - conf #**************. Your change request has been processed."

The problem here? I've been at work all day. I haven't enrolled in anything at any time ever. They decided to enroll me in AutoPay. Why? Well because if I go on AutoPay, then they can go right ahead and charge me whatever they want, and I may not notice.

The only problem with that is that I am the most stubborn, persistant, and obnoxious person that anyone's ever fucked with. Let's play, bitches.

Prof Skippy

2009-08-31T20:27:00.001-04:00

Gettin' that education. I'll be back when Jesus gives me the thumbs up. Peace.

Chef Skippy Thorson

2009-07-24T15:30:00.004-04:00

So today, I had another epiphany.

I had a craving. A craving for something extravagant. Something succulent. Something that only can come from the Gods themselves.

So I was in my kitchen, and I hear a voice. Sort of like Jesus, but a little higher pitched - almost as if the voice had just taken in a tiny bit of helium from the back room of a Rite-Aid.

The voice said to go for the gold. Go for Tuna.

Delicious.

So I said "ok voice, Tuna sounds good", and off I went. I then grabbed white bread to put it on - whose brand I will not mention - and plopped the slices on a plate. From off the pile of slices, an earwig bounced onto my plate.

Well that's just wonderfuck.

So I had another epiphany. This time, the voice sounded like a combination between the ShamWow Guy
and Gary Busey. Creepy, yes, but it told me to use a hamburger roll.

I happened to be watching Guy's Big Bite on the Food Network, because honestly, who doesn't watch that for 12 hours a day like I do?

What was the point of that story? Not to tell you that what I had for post-lunch / pre-dinner was delicious, but instead to announce a brand new idea I had.

People all over are poor. Let's face it. People all over are lazy. Let's face it. People all over are also hungry all the time. So I have a remedy.

Your personal Chef, Skippy Thorson, is at your forsaken service.

Once a week, I will post a new recipe for the All-American lazy man, based on my personal taste and experience, in a new blog entitled appropriately Chef Skippy Thorson.

Trust me, this is going to be good. Perhaps the food won't always be great, but the blog, and my Interweb Status will be.

I will update here again when I get that blog up and going. Skippy Thorson Home may take a lot longer than I expected, but this is as simple as adding a new blog, right? Right.

I think I'm going to update on Mondays, so poor people all over can keep the recipe in mind all through the week, and use it at a time where they are hungriest and laziest.

This is an exciting time... Or whatever all the big CEOs say.

SEE YOU ON THE GRILLIN' SIDE YO!

Michael Jackson, The King of Pop, Is Gone

2009-06-26T14:35:00.003-04:00

I'll be entirely honest up front - did I like his music? No, not at all. I'm a country and hard rock kind of guy.

Still, even someone such as myself can't deny the mark that this crotch grabbing spinning squeaking dancer left on the world, and I mean that in the way that you all know that's how the guy danced.

Back in the day, when the world was full of Johnny Cash and Elvis Presley recordings, and it was supposedly the music of the devil, no one would have thought that a small group of african american entertainers from nowhere would surprise the world with a talent like no other. I still think, in a way, no one believes that really happened. It's what adds to the mystery and majesty that makes Michael one of the worlds most notable music acts of all time.

In two weeks the guy was supposed to be embarking on his world tour that would be both the comeback of the King, and the grand finale to his fans. Who knew that not even starting the tour would propel him to 7 of the top 10 spots on the iTunes store today? Given it was for the wrong reasons, his popularity has soared again, and if it's a little to late for him to see how big he really is 20 years after his peak of greatness, the status he maintains without even trying is remarkable.

Yesterday afternoon, he was found collapsed in his rented home - perhaps the most unlikely cap to his mountain of debt is that he didn't even get to keep his famed Neverland ranch. He was rushed by paramedics to the hospital in a deep coma, for almost up to two hours. Attempts to revive him were obviously unsuccessful, and that's the story. Nothing dramatic or huge, and probably the most ironic is just how subtle it all was. No frantic rush from hundreds of thousands of guards or police - just a report that he was hospitalized when he met the ambulance.

After reports from many that he was so strained and frail from the demands of the upcoming tour, I suppose that the lifestyle he led as of late leaves no surprise that things would come to a close, but no one expected it to end like this. The media circus that blew things out of proportion, and strange antics such as baby dangling, monkey befriending, and child masking were all just pages in a series of many books that told the story of a performer that we will probably never get the end of, in more ways than one.

As a side note, yes, It was admittedly difficult to get through that without saying the word "touch" or referring to "Beat It", but this is one post that deserved a lack of sarcasm. Peace, M.J.

In The Face - In. The. FACE.

2009-06-10T07:40:00.004-04:00

So a 72 year old grandmother got tased in the face. Funny right? Well it wasn't literally in the face, and it wasn't all that funny. At least to the family, and some thinking the officer stepped over the line.

Later, the same news channel released a follow-up story, settling the conflict between the he said / she said.

However, now that the dashboard camera recording of the entire thing hit the Today Show, after she said it was all lies, Granny shut her mouth, and refuses to say anything at all.

He can be clearly seen shoving the woman, and it's debatable that he was just being a typical cop with the "Can't Touch This" MC Hammer-tude, but it's also debatable that he was getting the stubborn great grandmother off the highway.

Personally, and obviously, I think she had it coming. How many old people do you know that just... won't... listen... At 72, would you? What's the worst that could happen?

A taser shot is probably far off your mind. It wasn't on this woman's - she is even recorded saying "I dare you", and I would have done the same thing as the cop after that. It went on for what seemed like forever. She was given too many chances, and he was too generous. I would have tased her from the start, partly in fun after she swore at me the first time.

Over the line, or right on target? You be the judge. I personally think the target was spot on, but that's probably just because she wasn't one to run marathons.

I also personally think that people working on YouTube videos should avoid dubbing Vista error sounds into the video, but that's just me.

WWDC 2009 Predictions

2009-06-08T00:03:00.004-04:00

So as my ritual goes, what's going down at WWDC you ask? Well let's see.

I have to say it will be not the launch, but the announcement of the new iPhone 3G. Off to a bang, eh?

Well, aside from the ultimately important Voice Recorder App, I believe we'll finally be seeing when we'll be getting the Push service we've waited a year for, and we will get an in depth look at iPhone OS 3.0 on the new device.

Another definite will be an update on Snow Leopard, and if not only a demo, we may even get a release date.

What else besides that? Schiller will have to touch on when Steve will be coming back. Yes. Steve is an announcement.

There is going to be a new product, but it is likely to be saved for a separate keynote hosted by Steve Jobs when he returns, and more than likely, it will be the kickoff keynote to his return.

There you have it. The future, as told by Skippy.

Enjoy the keynote tomorrow at 1!

Rather... today. It's the AM now. Crazy.

Ah... Underlining...

General Motors: All Up In The Air

2009-06-01T11:59:00.004-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, as I type this, Obama is talking to me. Yes, me. Through means of broadcast. General Motors is now officially in bankruptcy.

THANK. GOD.

The company as of now is a mere $172 in debt. Not dollars. Not thousands of dollars. Not even millions of dollars.

Yes.

GM is $172 billion dollars in debt. Billion. Billion... With a B.

Chrysler has also successfully been approved to merge with Italian automaker FIAT.

THANK. GOD.

Italy already knows how to make small good cars that last a long time. My saucy compadres can finally teach my American brethren how the hell to squeeze an eco-mobile in between the Dodge Ram and Chrysler 300. It IS possible, and it WILL happen.

So long as nothing touches the status of the Dodge Challenger, lest people may die.

Soon, world, we may see some better means of transportation. Better than a muscle car, no, but more fuel efficient and more importantly, Italian, hell yes.

We just need to all have a little faith. Like that guy building that Corvette in the picture, wearing a Rusty Wallace #2 Ford shirt. Yeah. Like him.

Until Obama gives us more words of hope, keep on truckin' America.

Er...

Keep on... Priusin'.

Ew. Bad taste.

Going Green, The Green Day Way

2009-05-20T11:02:00.004-04:00

Green Day is on the cover of the latest issue of Rolling Stone and as much as I love them and hate reading, I bought the magazine to see what they're up to, and because they're the greatest band on the face of the earth.

Now I don't know how these fancy things work, but the date on the corner of the magazine says May 28, 2009. Now either I'm insane and my iBook has joined me in Jingletown, I got it early, or I'm just normal and happened to stumble across it at a typical launch time. The real question is, did anyone just catch one? A real Green Day fan should have. If you didn't, keep reading, because you need it.

Do I review music for a living? No.

Will I act like I do for today? Hell. Yes.

The latest album is truly a work of art. How does it stack up against American Idiot, the album that set the bar in 2004 for all of Rock & Roll? Does it stack up at all? They're both rock operas to make the music world stop and take a look, and they both hint at a Hawthorne Heights album cover, but where does the road split?

First off, you year radio static, and a soft voice comes through the speakers in a John Lennon-like whisper. A tune mellow and twisted enough to put your kids to sleep goes on for a minute, and then a rock opera much like something from The Who blares, full and forward, an assault on the senses. While pleasantly still musical, it seemingly speaks through a distorted Gibson Les Paul and a wall of Marshall stacks twice as high as the singer commanding them. Backed by a bass as precision cut and clearly refined as glass, and a 3 dozen piece drum kit not played, but artistically commanded by a master.

The trifecta is a winner. It beats American Idiot on all fronts but a hit pop single, and that's something that every fan new and old has wanted for a while now - at least as far as I know. While I still love songs like Holiday, a pop group Green Day is not. There are obvious singles-to-be, but they are rooted deep behind The Clash, Bruce Springsteen, and maybe a hint of Boston-esque obsessive compulsive perfection.

From start to finish, radio static links most of the songs, in a way that any FM station links so many different bands' songs to one another, through fadeins and fadeouts without interruption, even if often the songs have nothing in common. That's what this album feels like. 18 works of art all totally different, yet flowing. I could name off songs like Know Your Enemy, Restless Heart Syndrome, East Jesus Nowhere, Christian's Inferno, and two different tunes called Gloria, but what does that do for you? It tells you the titles. Wow. You're edumacated now.

Go and find out for yourself, even if for no other reason than to broaden your musical horizons and prove me wrong, but don't miss out on it, because you'd be about as stoopid as this kid.

Yes, it has some American Idiot influence, and they are still relevant and modern, but they are going back to true-to-their-roots Green Day, with some obvious riffs coming from an album they themselves dropped 15 years ago, which has sold that many copies in millions I may add.

Let me know what you people think, good or bad, in email or a response right here. The best band on earth is back in full swing, thank God.

That's right America, I said it. God. Out loud. GOD. Are you offended? MERRY CHRISTMAS. Does the pain burn you? Are you going to sue me? CHRYSLER. BAILOUTS. Now what?! Stimulus Package! Take that. I laugh at blind censorship - it's so exhilarating.

Thanks From Skippy

2009-05-16T10:16:00.002-04:00

I don't know where all the love is coming from, but you people freaking rock. I'm talking AC/DC style.

I've gotten numerous emails from numerous people for numerous reasons. regarding numerous parts of my numerous blog. Numerously.

Actually that was a lie, they were all about me, but that's typical. So I got overzealous. There are a lot of people asking me to put links to their sites in my link list. There are a lot just telling me they appreciate my blog.

There are also a lot of spam messages. A lot. Like a hundred a day.

Thank you GMail spam filter. For all of your warming protection.

So anyway... In the meanwhile, I'm happy to say I'm going to be sitting on a lot of free time to get back to what I love doing. Being awesome and telling you all what's good with the world.

I'll be back soon. Thanks for reading, and while I work up some magic, enjoy the archives. I dusted them off myself.

Need For Speed Car List

2009-05-06T00:24:00.008-04:00

I know many people have been looking for a car list, so I figured I would create one here. Short, sweet, and to the point.

Naturally, these were the first cars I bought. Once purchased, they are removed from the list, so I can't list them in order, but these are basically the low end vehicles..

Pontiac Firebird - '77 maybe
Pontiac Solstice
Chrysler 300
Ford Mustang GT

..and the rest, in remaining order..

Nissan 240 SX
Mazda Mazdaspeed3
Volkswagon Golf GTI
Mazda RX8
Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution
Nissan 370Z
BMW M3
Nissan GT-R
Dodge Viper SRT10
Ford Mustang Fastback - '67
Mercedes Benz SL65
Ford GT
Lamborghini Gallardo
Porsche 911 GT2
Porsche Carrera GT
Pagini Zonda

It's a decent lineup, but I wish they had a larger variety of manufacturers instead of several cars from a few brands. A Charger would have been welcome, as would a Jaguar or any Chevrolet, but personally, I can't complain. Even a severe lack of Corvette doesn't kill the game.

I love the game already. Well worth $10 thus far. I would give it an 9 out of 10 simply for my car thought, and there's a sort of turning aid that sort of turns your car for you. Sort of. It's faint, but it's there. Sort of.

I'm happy it finally came out - it took long enough. How many times have I mentioned it? Jayzus. It's the only non-pre-loaded App on my home screen. It's that good, it replaced Apple's Remote App in that spot.

NEED FOR SPEED UNDERCOVER RELEASED

2009-05-05T18:46:00.003-04:00

That's right, I said it!

NEED FOR SPEED UNDERCOVER is now AVAILABLE, and you can download it HERE, right NOW!

I am downloading it as we speak, and I will keep updating this post as time goes on.

I've finally broken my personal vow of silence holding out for this games release, and now I'm happy to be one of the first to post the link to the game.

It is $9.99, and I will say that I support this game now 100%. Even if I impatiently waited since September.

IT'S OUT! WOOHOO!!!

The New iPod Shuffle: Kick Up The Suck

2009-03-11T13:19:00.003-04:00

What the hell is this, you ask?

A new Tie Clip? No. A manual can opener? No. A snowboard version of a Tech Deck? No.

It's the new iPod Shuffle. Now in a more compact version of Suck.

It now charges exclusively through an awkward little USB cord with a 3.5mm jack on the other end. Just pop it in and let it lay on your desk like a dead Tuna. Dropping the dock - pretty, no?

The clip is now twice as long as the last Shuffle - so you can clip it further onto your outer layer of clothing. This cuts your chances of losing it by 20%! Yes, 20%!

The silver model comes with a silver clip. The black version comes with a... silver clip! Isn't that beautiful?! Oh, and guess what? Those are your only choices!

Don't forget... 20%!

It comes with VoiceOver. Some obnoxious little techno voice (please, tell me it's OttoMatic) comes over your earbuds like the voice of iJesus to tell you that you're playing a certain song by a certain artist off a certain album. I could think of a certain feature that could have certainly been left out.

Still... 20%!

This thing makes me want to pimp slap Jony Ive. Given, he could kick my ass. Still. It looks like a slab. A prototype mistake that somehow made it off the line and onto eBay with a reserve price of 79 cents. Alas, no. It is on Apple's page, and it's converted to dollars.

Want to shell out cash for better earbuds? Better be sure they're Apple branded, with that little toggle thing on the wire - because that's the only way it will work. It needs those controls to function due to the lack of any buttons at all.

Overall: The New iPod Shuffle is garbage. It's uncreative ugly slop that I could have milled on a CNC Lathe myself. Bonus: It comes with more iSuck.

20%!

Odds I'll buy it? Drop that first digit.

DESIGNER BABIES?! WHAT!?

2009-03-03T17:45:00.004-05:00

What the flying fuck is this? Mail order babies? Aren't these like test tube babies but just in a person?

It's like I just went to a breakfast diner and ordered my fetus- I mean eggs.. scrambled with a side of bacon.

What? I corrected myself.

You can specify what you want your child to look like. This is a sin against all of creation. Genetically engineering something, or in this case, someone to look exactly how you want them to look. That's disgusting. It's frigtarded. It's going to lead to one armed trailer trash everywhere.

I hope you go against creation and you wind up with wheels for legs. I.E., the Hoveround.

You know what this sounds like?

Hitler.

Isn't this like the whole Master Race idea? I hate humans...

Circuit Chitty

2009-02-19T17:43:00.003-05:00

So I walked in today at about 10 in the morning. About the time they open.

I went to look at a JVC dock, that dual one. MSRP is $100, right? It is at my Walmart. I don't think we make up MSRP. So... Yeah.

First, I talked to some head guy, who tried to tell me everything went up to MSRP on January 15th. No, sir. The dock had been $100 ever since that date, and long before then. He told me, it was supposed to be $150, marked down to $90. The 40% off was supposed to be $60, from $100, not $90 from $150.

I gave up and told him whatever, and asked him if he had the remote for it - I explained that the settings on that dock can only be accessed from the remote.

He called over to some know-nothing kid. He went back and checked all the accessories for the rest of the docks that they apparently kept in manilla envelopes. Nope. It was missing. Thanks!

I asked him about the pricing too. His response, and I quote "I have no idea". He said it in this slow slurred voice, honestly showing he had no clue. I asked him then about the MSRP, and that it in reality is $100. Again he said "I have no idea", in that same exact voice.

I half laughed and half sighed. I then asked him about where I could get another remote. Se stared at me like I just switched to speaking Chinese. He said it again. "I have no idea"...

I told him that he could think about it and I'll be in again.

No I won't.

Lesson learned? Shop at Walmat.

I knew Circuit City would do this - they're marking up their prices to not only offset the discounts, but attempt to further profit from them as well.

Circuit City, New Hartford New York, 13413, in case you're wondering - fuck you.

iPhone Carrier Update?

2009-02-09T14:57:00.004-05:00

Seems as though Apple or AT&T shoved out a mini-update to iPhone users today.

What does it do? I have absolutely no idea whatsoever.

Yet, I'm still pumped to get an update of any sort for iPhone. No, this isn't on MacRumors yet either. We'll see if that changes.

More if I find out anything. If not, no more.

Coming Soon

2009-01-26T15:57:00.003-05:00

As you may know, I do a lot of work with Google. So much so, that it's my home page on all 4 of my computers.

Why do I have 4? It's necessary, that's why.

It seems that a mere single Blog wasn't enough. I will not disappoint however, the good news is that I'm not packing up. Think of it as I just bought a beach house down south.

Yes, Skippy is ready to take the next step in expanding his reaches far across The Interweb. I have taken my work with Google a step farther with Google Sites. Free websites for all, including people like me. Isn't that great?!

One day soon, whenever that may be, I'll have an announcement here on the new site, as well as updating the header - where you'll find a link to the site under construction.

Skippy Thorson Home.

Kinda has a nice ring to it. Very homey. Homie? Whatever the kids say nowadays.

Word to your mother. Catch you on the flip side, dogs.

Happy Birthday, Macintosh

2009-01-24T10:30:00.006-05:00

Amen brother. May the bells ring and freedom fly and the flag fly at half staff and Obama kneel at the helm of Steve's awesome being and all that delicious stuff.

So it turns 25 years old. It's 20% older than I am, with reduced fat and half the cholesterol I would assume. Perhaps it should be the source of well being as opposed to the Oprah show?

$50 says Steve is sitting at home with a little party hat and a noise maker at a 40 foot glass table across from a 1984 Macintosh and a platter of sushi. I can picture it, can't you? Perhaps it looks a little like this?

Good times.

Circuit City: Gone. Firedog: Problem Solved.

2009-01-17T13:14:00.004-05:00

So now it seems that yet another chain has fallen victim to the economy... or in this case, itself.

Circuit City is closing its doors in all 567 remaining stores in the U.S., while Canadian operations will carry on as though nothing happened.

Well that's just wonderfuck.

So when Best Buy hikes prices because their primary competition is gone, we know who to thank - THIS MAN.

Fathers and sons for I dont know / care how many years have looked to this place for a source of inspiration and guidance. How many times can you look back and remember your loving father asking you "So, do you want to go to Circuit City today kids?", and you responded with "Gee Pop, that would be swell!", and he hit his knee and got into that old Buick station wagon and you drove off into the sunset to go to the land of red circled happiness.

No longer are those days folks. Big business has handed the playground over to a giant yellow price tag, and it wants your soul. No seriously, just look at this thing. It probably eats babies.

So, so long glowing red globe of happiness and wonder. We will miss your Firedog expertise. Woe is the Geek Squadian who tells me that it will be $50 to tell me what was wrong and what I should expect to pay for it. Darkness looms in the future for all who are looking for a Firewire MyBook external hard drive, or a 47 inch Samsung flat screen.

Oh well. At least they have Apple Stores.

Sales start as early as today, for all the soulless wanting to benefit on the dead. I personally could use that external, but I want to honor the place as it goes down in a blaze of glory.

Which was an excellent Bon Jovi song.

I'll miss you C.C.

Leave Of Absence: Steve Jobs

2009-01-14T18:42:00.002-05:00

It would be a shame to not blog about the man that provided us with a changed world and optimistic mind, giving us all hope that technology isn't the mundane work center tool we all take for granted. It's more than that. It's a lifestyle, and a state of being.

The man that gives his all every day wants time to be with his family. He deserves it. He deserves every second of time off he can find. He doesn't deserve the scrutiny and prodding that every blogger, columnist and news story has tossed out into the open, like a domestic cat into a pack of ravenous wolves. He is but a man. Inventor and father of iPod and iPhone. We've taken enough of what he's given. Let's offer something in return. Peace perhaps. Tranquility from the madness.

Damn you who sleeps peacefully at night, after doing nothing but taking. Return what you received. Give back. Give time. Time is what will prove everyone wrong. That no, not everyone is immortal, but no, not everyone is as vulnerable as we presume. Some are tough. Some are fighters. Some are the crazy ones.

Cheers, Steve. We'll see you in a while.

Salute. Namaste.

Whoever hacked the MacRumors live feed...

2009-01-06T12:41:00.003-05:00

...may you, your family, and all plant life around you rot and burn in hell for many painstaking years to come.

In Other Zune News...

2008-12-31T14:26:00.004-05:00

Most of the new firmware 30gb Microsoft Zunes fail world wide (and some 80gb), thanks in part to Ozone radiating from Redmond computer terminals, and Steve Ballmer's bald spot. More at 11.

Skippy + MacRumors

2008-12-26T12:54:00.002-05:00

I finally, for once in my life, made the front page of the holy site of MacRumors.

Some of you may say that it's merely a site with nothing more than Mac rumors, but you're wrong. The show is run by whom I consider to be a columnist genius, Arnold Kim, affectionately known everywhere around the Interwebs as Arn.

Also doing some amazing work on Touch Arcade, which I follow just as ritualistically, and dominating all of the readers that are looking for the latest info in Stevedom - as far as I'm concerned, he is the single best go to for anything Apple aside from the company website.

Yes. That's why I'm excited. As I've said before - oh (day after) holy day.

The Ad - The Pictures - The 3G

2008-12-23T00:41:00.007-05:00

I said it - and I delivered once again. Here is the coming ad from Walmart. The iPhone 3G is proudly displayed on the cover announcing it's presence at Redneck HQ. The world can spin once more.

9:00am on December 28th, these things go on sale. I'd say, come 9:10am, they'll be gone.

I told you all! No one listens to me. I tell them something, and they doubt me, and they go against what I say, and then they end up being wrong and I end up being right, and then they asked me how I was right and how I knew, and then I tell them that I'm always right, and then they believe me, and then, the next thing comes up and the cycle restarts.

Well. I did it. I'm exceptionally proud of myself. You're welcome.

MacRumors, Macenstein, MacSoda, Engadget... Here comes Skippy.

I HAVE THE AD!!!

2008-12-22T20:39:00.003-05:00

I did it! I snagged the official Walmart ad that comes out this weekend with the iPhone on the cover. I will upload the image when I get home - which means a half hour after I get to relax. By 1:00am I will have the image posted here in this blog for the world to see. The Walmart ad image that was floating around a while back was accurate - $197 with the bigass iPhone 3G on the cover. Amen!!! I have news!!!!!

In the meanwhile, go to Walmart.com/iPhone for more info. At least that's what the ad says.

Also on the bottom, it lists "Event Dates: Sunday, December 28, 2008 - Saturday, January 3, 2009".

I. So. Rock.

Tekkeon myPower for iPhone

2008-12-22T13:39:00.004-05:00

I think I'm just going to have to turn this place into something halfway between a blog containing intellectual worldly insights and an Apple rumor site.

I got wind of an upcoming product along the lines of a case that includes a battery pack that charges / powers the iPhone. Status on sale only say it's "Coming Soon". The Tekkeon myPower page is right here. Interesting, and not as ugly as some of the others.

That, and Pepsi is coming up with a mobile site for the iPhone. Hit up Pepsi.com, and you'll come up with a picture of the new can. The main Pepsi site got overhauled recently.

Rumor reporting is new and different. Sorta like fruitcake. Or nog.

I love nog.

IPHONE IS COMING TO WALMART, HAPPY?

2008-12-21T01:12:00.005-05:00

Are we all happy now? If I could find where the iPhones in the office are kept, I would snap a few shots of those, but this is the best I can do for now.

Skippy loves you too. You're welcome. Merry Christmas. All that.

Not only that, I posted that within the hour I promised here. Sometimes I amaze me.

Feel free to email me, comment, rave, complain, or claim I photoshopped my iPhone's camera's picture. Whatever. It's there. I told you before, I'm telling you now, and I will keep telling you. The iPhone is coming to Walmart. The same iPhones we know that are out right now. I told you.

Walmart gets iPhoned

2008-12-08T11:30:00.009-05:00

I am here to tell you, faithful loving Walmart employee that I am, that we will 100% positively surely will be selling the 8gb iPhone at Walmart. The 16gb version may or may not be reserved for Apple and AT&T, so we're unsure if we're going to land that or not. If Best Buy didn't, we probably won't. They're freaking Best Buy.

Oh, and this is the image on PCWorld, it's not mine. MacRumors also has it as a whole - computer, Wire cardboard prop, and all.

Where's the negative in this? The clothing sections of Walmart have nothing to do with electronics.

Why does that matter? I want to sell people motha' fuckin' iPhones.

Anyway it goes, I will be in the same place that sells iPhones, and that's an awesome idea. I'll be feet away from them 4 or 5 days a week. It's like I just gained custody of my adopted children after never seeing them. Which makes no sense. Which makes me a bit like Brad Pitt.

All the info just appeared on "The Wire". That's the big fancy name for the collection of stupid shitsy computer games we have to play when we're hired or rehired at that joint, and all the info that we could possibly never want as employees of such a fine upstanding redneck establishment.

I'll see what else I get later on this week, and I'll see if I can get pictures. I'll see. You'll see.

Watch there be nothing and it doesn't hit our store. That would be my luck.

Maybe this will finally give me some cred. I finally got some dirt on the truth. When people around the world see that Skippy has done it, I will be able to prove that I am amazing. I'm Skippy.

StormBerry

2008-11-10T23:03:00.007-05:00

Here we go again.

iPhone clone haters, rejoice. We now have a new product to loathe, rub between our shoe and concrete, play frisbee with, and naturally mock accordingly on all major tech websites so long as RIM sees fit to produce something that so blatantly copies the now #1 phone on the market today.

So, which would you want. The sleek and forever amazing iPhone, or the Vista-like Wow of a new Blackberry Storm. You have a choice. What is yourx? Which makes me ask myself, why doesn't that thing autocorrect? Incapable? Oops.

Still, props. Look at that amazingly colorful home screen with it's neatly organized user friendly interface. Now that's a product that draws me in. Just take a look at what you could be getting! Ease of use, simplicity, minimalism, a cheap and light feel, and that's just the beginning. It also comes the satisfaction of owning a piece of history... Or something... I guess.

This just inspires me to customize my car in some obnoxious way. I can't stand 3 things. Bad cuisine, overcooked pasta, and iPhone clones. Maybe there are more, but that's all I can think of right now. Damn clones. Didn't the Government say this wasn't allowed or something? Honestly.

OBAMA!!!

2008-11-05T13:10:00.012-05:00

It's been 50 days people.

50 days. There's something political about that number. I'm not sure why.

That's almost, if I do the math correctly, a mathematical shitload of days.

What has happened since the 15th of September?

Lots.

Tony Fadell is leaving Apple, which is a shame because he was great with the iPod, but now wants to be a regular iFather to regular iChildren. Can't say I blame him on that one. At least his children won't make him do 90 hours a week.

Steve released new Aluminum MacBooks to the world. Thank you, Steve, oh forgetter of the Mac Mini - the little GodBox that so many Windows users turn to when their Gateway towers turn themselves into burnt toast for no other reason just because... Garbage.

So what else has been going on with my people of earth?

Oh, that's right. A little holiday fell upon us in which the premise seems to be that small unsightly children whom haven't bathed in days awaiting sugar and other garbage to rot their teeth show up at your doorstep and scream some slogan that they got from God knows where demanding the candy which they have knowingly so rightfully earned because of their dedication and helpfulness to the community in which they live only to come back hours later after they have taken your hypersnacks to toss rolls of asspaper and unhatched chickens at your place of residency simply because they have nothing better to do since their mothers have gone out to gamble away the preceding months paychecks and their overweight fathers are at home in their skivvies watching the newest episode of Mad Men.

Anyway, you all deserve another one of my excusplanations. I've been gone because there was no way I could handle an insightful critique blog like this without hundreds of requests to talk about Da 'Lection. Truth be told, I received no requests to do anything political, but I did receive a vision. No, I don't have a dream. I have an Obama.

AMEN I SAY UNTO YOU!

Barack Obama is to become our BushReplacement. Took long enough.

I don't believe though I gave up the chance to make fun of this. That's ok. I will in the future. I can't give that up - honestly. Rock on, Palin. Rock on.

I want to close on something inspirational that I remembered I heard a while ago.

It's not that life is so short it's that you're dead for so long.

Make the most of your pre-eternal slumber people. Live crispy.

Skippy has returned to the building.

Texas vs Nature

2008-09-15T07:23:00.006-04:00

I assume you people have seen the news. I hope you have. It's better than Saturday Night Live. Then again, I'd rather watch C-Span.

Ike slammed Galveston in a spectacular rush of wind, water, and filth. Does anyone remember a tiny little storm called Katrina, that wiped a city off the face of the earth? For the life of me, I won't understand why anyone would stay during the mandatory evacuation. You know what? Stay and suffer.

I wonder how fast the rich white people will get back to Texas, compared to the poor african americans of New Orleans. Apparently, as our recently imprisoned friend Kanye West once said, "George Bush don't like black people"... Well, he doesn't really, but he sure does love Texas! You know his redneck ass is gonna haul back to Crawford to clean up his front porch the second he gets a free chance. I give that until Tuesday.

I'm awake at this obscene hour. Why? The Today Show.

Continuous coverage of this storm that was the size of the state it hit. If I see one more interview of one more redneck who lost his 3 story condo to a storm, and who's life was only made worse because he stayed, I'm going to run down my clean non-flooded street screaming.

Here's an idea, did anyone down south see the news? Anyone see this thing on local or national weather broadcasts? It's not like it was hard to miss. Someone explain to me why anyone stayed. I don't get it. You know that your house is just going to fall on you and you may end up just floating a few towns away on your front door.

Rebuild, redecorate, buy crap for your mobile homes all the way up to your gated mansions. I feel bad for everyone involved because this shouldn't be happening in today's society, but if you're stupid to make it worse on yourself, I don't know what to say. Read through the rest of my blog perhaps.

Good luck people. Peace. Watch out for those waves.

Wait, what?

2008-09-09T16:38:00.001-04:00

Why the hell did I say price drop on Shuffle? I meant color changes. Were they gonna drop the price to $9.99?

I'm a genius.

Speaking of which, that's a great feature isn't it? Didn't see that coming.

Pre-Apple Event Ritual

2008-09-09T10:23:00.002-04:00

So it's going down. Are you ready to rock Keith Richards style? Minus the coconut tree.

Like before all iEvents, Skippy is here to help you out in all of your last minute shopping needs. What can you buy your annoying little nephew that bites this holiday season? Well, aside from one of those monkey/backpack/leashes, you'll be seeing plenty of great new iProducts in just a few hours.

Let me explain.

I know what goes down. I just do. How? Who knows. It's a gift. An iGift.

I'm going to run down the list:
Price drop on the Shuffle
Price drop on the Classic
A newly redesigned Nano that's been splashed all over the Interwebs
An iPod Touch with more curves than your size 0 dream date
iTunes 8 - yes, because everything should be as good in thousands of squares.

Remember that multicolored rumor? Bullshit. Those muti-colors are going to be in the form of an expanded color palette for the Nanos / Shuffles. No, you won't be seeing Dalmation or Flower Power iPods. Sorry.

Steve's gonna go all out. No iPod is safe when it comes to the yearly September update in 2008. If you're really good, you may even see colors on that iTouch.

That's right, I said iTouch instead of iPod Touch to save time, instead of taking the time out of my day to say 2 words instead of 1.

For all you kiddies that think your pet peeve is hearing the word iTouch, I have this to say to you:
iTouch iTouch iTouch iTouch iTouch iTouch iTouch iTouch iTouch iTouch...

I'll be seeing you all later! Enjoy your day, and Steve, prove to the world you're just fine.

He looks better. Trust me. It was a bug, and he isn't sick. He's Steven P. Jobs. What the hell on earth would make him sick? Sars? The Plague? He's immortal. That's all there is to it. Just like the iPod.

Peace fellow iLovers. May your wallet be bountiful, and your credit cards maxed, en lieu of iDay.

iTouch.

Yo Quero Musico

2008-09-01T13:53:00.003-04:00

Every single damn Latino song has the same beat.

Why?

I'm not bashing you if you happen to be Puerto Rican, Cuban, Mexican, Texican, or work at a Taco Bell, but JESUS.

Get some imagination people. Pull a Bono. Mix it up a bit.

Yeah, that's about it.

I want a Crunch Wrap now.

Asphalt 4 Elite Racing for iPhone

2008-08-30T00:21:00.004-04:00

What are the odds I'm granted a free download of this for posting it here and to everyone?! (e-mail is right on the side of the page, wink wink)

I SAY WOOHOO!!!!!

My dream has been realized!

No, not because the second to first most anticipated racing game for me has been released - shortly behind Need For Speed Undercover, of course.

No, it's much much bigger than this.

I finally did it.

I finally released news about something to MacRumors before anyone else, and it actually made the front page in the form of their iPhone Blog!

Thank you Arn! You are my hero!

Skippy is rejuvenated and better than ever! I'm back. Really. This time I won't just slip away into a deep slumber to only wake up for necessary food, beverages, and mini-vacations.

It is almost September, and I am ready to roll. Honestly, I really am.

I did not get consumed

2008-08-16T00:06:00.002-04:00

Neither Grizzly Bear or Moose ingested me, and I am thankful. Nor did they try to jump, mug and / or bum rush me. Which is also a plus.

So, that mid-week / Wednesday was a lie evidently, but I'm here now, and that's all that really matters. Papa Skippy won't leave you in the dirt for too long. Unless rigormortis sets in. Which would be bad.

I missed civilization, I won't lie. Almost as much as one Steven Jobs, who apparently got so fed up with civilization that he set Apple on fire. No I'm kidding. It was an accident. Not even by anything they made either. I told them not to get the Vista Air Center but no no one listens to me.

I am a tired little person lately. So lazy that I haven't posted a real post about posts in I'm not sure how long. I still can't lie, that won't keep me from being lazy still. I need them high quality sleeps, and I will get back to earth soon. Peace readers.

Almost Spiritually Prepared

2008-08-08T23:18:00.002-04:00

Alright. My brothers and sisters, or whatever you are.

I'm going on vacation. Really. For 4 days, 4 hours up north in some little camping place I've never heard of with someone that needs no introduction, especially in a place like this blog - that's for sure.

Am I afraid I'm going to get eaten by grizzly bears? Yes I am.

Will I get eaten by grizzly bears? Quite possibly.

I'm taking my iPhone, so we'll see if that helps. Any word on if bears have accepted the App Store as a quality place to get some nice entertaining programs for iPhone? Do they get 3G coverage in the Adirondacks?

This is gonna be one hell of a ride. Or. Trip.

Peace. I will be back to blogging sometime mid next week. Wednesday. Yes, that would make sense.

Just a note

2008-07-27T23:39:00.003-04:00

En lieu of my 100th post, I gave myself another vacation from all work including unnecessary movement and waking up before 11 am. I'll be back in a while, don't worry. It's not good for you. I swear to God it's not.

Wal*Mart: Stuff It, Smiley

2008-07-20T00:30:00.003-04:00

I can't stand this shit any more. Someone, for the love of all that's good and expensive, tear down Wal*Mart.

This store isn't the heaven I thought it was made out to be when I didn't actually work there. What a hole. Fatass balding managers, old people that forget where the front door is located, and sweaty guys in non-requirement tank tops working the stock room in back.

Disgustingly pathetic.

Check this out.

Remind you of anything? Please don't tell me you're that stupid - even I couldn't believe that.

That video, as oddly sick and humorous as it is, is sad and true.

All of the overweight people putting around on their little power scooter cartmobiles, families towing 2 or 3 carts full of garbage, and people walking in with plastic money to get an entertainment system worth of a listen by Stevie Wonder.

the customers are exactly what brought that retail shit chain to what they are today. They are the epitome of the man that made the dump what it is today, even though he's been 6 feet under for a decade and a half. Can you tell how much I respect him? Yeah. Just about as much as the rock with his name and date.

You know the kind - hell, you probably know someone who is one, or you just may be one yourself. They come in, they shop around and crack the same jokes about things that people have been cracking since the first HoleMart opened in 936 AD,and they generally move things around only to leave 20 minutes later. After it's all done, they didn't buy shit, but that's ok, because the person that followed them into the store left the store sans $200.

I'm all for the Confederacy and the south and Cracker Barrel and RC Cola, really, but holy crap. This is the one time I'd ever support anything with the word Union.

Besides, Sam's Choice tastes like warm liquid plumber. Really. It does.

100th Post: A Confession

2008-07-15T14:02:00.004-04:00

In honor of my 100th post, and the continuation of a legend, I figured I would come clean to the world.

I have a problem. I can't hide it any longer. Let me explain.

For years, man has struggled with one thing, and one thing alone: woman. Temptation, seduction, manipulation, need, love, and lust. I am only man, and I can not lie in that I too have run into a few of those problems listed.

I thought I was one of the lucky ones, that I wouldn't go through that in my lifetime. That was when I was young and naive.

Now that I have more worldly experience than most people, I can finally see what's been wrong lately. I've been blinded my my friends and family by the one thing that somehow found its way through the labyrinth that is my mind.

I have finally found what is the definition of hot. As sexy and sleek as the hips of a 1969 bright orange Dodge Charger.

It seems like lust has taken me over, and I can't feel more guilty. Not only am I drifting away from the first thing that changed my life, I'm basically only cheating myself here. It's just not right, and every man in America knows that feeling.

It's like the most beautiful woman on the planet was just dropped in my lap, and there's no way I want to let go, even though I know deep down that I should. It's the right thing to do really. I have a life that I can't just abandon for that.

With a body such a delicious shade of flawless white, accentuated by all those curves, what is a person to do but just stare half starry eyed in wonder as you walk by? God is playing a trick, it must be - how could the sight of anything invoke lust when you don't know anything else but what you saw? It's just wrong.

You know how unfair it is, really. It's just that you see something so simply gorgeous and pure and innocent that your mind instantly rearranges your priorities whether you want it to or not.

I'll change the way I think in time. I can fix myself, I know it. In the meantime, I'll have to work on being a better man, for myself, and everyone I know. I mean, really, let's be honest. Have you seen the iPhone 3G? Wow.

Yankee Demo

2008-07-13T10:40:00.004-04:00

What the flying fuck are people thinking? Anything? No?

I hate the Yankees, with a passion that burns like a thousand suns, but even I think it's a terrible idea to rip down Yankee Stadium.

There's an ad in my Sunday paper that shows a little replica that you can buy for like $9,000... It says something about celebrating the last season at Yankee Stadium.

Ok, I'll admit I find it funny that the team I hate is having their home stadium ripped down for who the hell knows what - a hot dog stand would be funniest, and have more return visitors - but still, I'm a history kind of person, and things with meaning like landmarks are meant to be left as is unless falling down on people that walk by who look at it the wrong way.

Like in Utica, there's the Stanley Theatre. People including myself were and still are against some big stupid neon scrolling Marquee that replaced a simple text holding billboard thing. It's an old antique building... leave it the hell alone. Really.

Some people are just so fucking stupid, you just want to roundhouse kick them in the face. Chuck Norris style. Stupidity is disgusting. I like perfection. Like myself, and this blog.

Wow.

Frigtards.

Oh, that reminds me, I plan to take over Fake Steve Jobs' spot for overall best Blogger site.

Because I Said So

2008-07-10T11:36:00.004-04:00

Told you!

iPhone 2.0 Software available at 9AM. I believe I said that, didn't I?

Oh yes, I did.

How do I keep so awesome? Honestly. What makes me so irresistibly great? It just must come naturally.

Well. The 2.0 Software is available right here, right now. In JesusTunes, hold option, and click Check For Updates when JesusPhone is plugged in, and download it by selecting it.

Officially, this is NOT the 2.0 Software from Apple, it is a build of it, NOT THE FINAL RELEASE.

Skippy holds no reliability for anything whatsoever that comes from you clicking that link and downloading that unpure item to JesusPhone. Skippy has warned you, and don't come crying to Skippy if you wind up with a JesusBrick.

Don't say I didn't tell you so.

JesusPhone 3G Prep

2008-07-10T00:16:00.006-04:00

It's almost here, people.

The iPhone 3G, and App Store, and Software 2.0 for EdgePhone users like myself. I don't have Edge around here, so I'll be holding off.

Oh, and MobileMe for those who want that too.

Speculation all over either points to 3 possibilities, and yes. Skippy will let you all in on it.

It will either be tomorrow around 5AM or 9AM, or they'll hold off until the 11th at 8AM. MobileMe will be up tonight, or at least it should be.

Enjoy, iFanatics.

This is why bikers die

2008-07-07T01:21:00.004-04:00

If there's one thing I don't like aside from Microsoft, Japanese cars, or Starbucks, it's daring bikers.

You know the kind, right?

The little assholes on their Suzuki Shitterbikes, weaving in and out of traffic because they think they can only because they can fit.

Here's a hint - don't try to pass me. Ever. You will become a road stain, and I will get out to check on your level of alive. Nearly alive, perfectly alive? No difference. You'll be looking for my help. I will point and laugh. Why? Well, because it just won't be my day. Neither will the next day. Like those bumper stickers.

So I'm going south on my city's main drag, and there's this little shitty 70's bike with like a rear reflector and nothing else, and he decides that he likes one exit ramp over the other, which both lead to the same intersection. Ok, he takes the right one.

NOPE. Dipshit decides last minute, the left one is more for him.

Don't you just want to hold your door open and just take him out? Give him a reason to used the handicapped spaces at Walgreen's when he goes to pick up the medication that will keep him and his plastic hip alive because someone decided to clip his rear wheel and send him into an daredevil flip.

THAT'S A BIG MY BAD.

July goal for bikers: fuck with me more.

Trust me, there will be fewer bikers. Take your pick fellas, under or over? Personally I like the latter due to the way that things really bounce and roll off of the hood of a gunmetal 2002 Saturn SL1. Very artful actually.

Holy assfuckers incorporated... I hate bikers. Kids. Don't even know how to work on their own vehicle.

RELYING ON MOMMY AND DADDY I BET.

Just like my mini van philosophy, if you have a bike, do the world a favor. Find the nearest highest bridge, swerve towards it, and instead of playing chicken and stopping, gun it. If there's a guardrail, the rider - that's you - will simply get more airtime.

Does this help you? Yes. You won't be driving that Honda machine anymore. Does it help me? Come on, do I have to answer that?

Go Time

2008-07-03T12:41:00.003-04:00

Took a trip to my local AT&T Store on Tuesday. Thought I would report back here.

A buddy of mine with 7 months in his contract is able to get all the stops. $199 / $299 for the 3G iPhone, the dirt cheap prices on their $75 base contract. You know - 450 minutes, Data, and 200 SMS Texts for $5.

I think my next Walmart bonus, in all it's huge 6 figure glory, will get me a 3G GodDevice.

We'll see about this.

Especially after I sort out that billing pricing scheme thing. Did you see what damn chart? Holy crap.

It's a joke right? I had to have missed that one.

So the local High School graduates today...

2008-06-28T00:30:00.008-04:00

They passed classes. Most of them... and they all have cars... most of them. Unfortunately. If they could all just pull an organized pile-up, and eliminate their on-the-road status, I wouldn't mind at all. I would even accept old people.

Ever know those kinds of people that shouldn't be allowed on the roads?

First off, was some guy on his cell phone - in New York State, where it's illegal - and he decided that stop signs aren't his bag, and he would pull a Cali-Stop and roll through it. I lay on the horn and ride his bumper for the next 5 blocks.

Then there was an old geezer in a pickup truck with "for sale" signs all over it. He decided it would be great fun to do 15mph down an entire main road that runs north half way through the east side of the city. He turned off, not to bad.

My personal favorite, an arrogant teen in one of those gay street tuners. He thinks his car is hot stuff, so he revs it at a red light. The light turns green, and his car pops and sort of bounces like he forgot which was the gas pedal. Nice job kid.

The always fun, "look-at-my-Hummer-drifting-into-your-lane" was another point in my day. Good times. She got a good blast of the horn too. If I weren't driving my nice pristine 1997 Chevy S-10, I would have taken a shot at her with my door - turned her into a road smear.

Do me a favor if you have a Hummer. You know how I love them. Please - disable your airbags, ram it full speed head on into a concrete wall, and holy crap, don't brace yourself for impact. Thanks! Your busses don't need to be on the roads of Miami, they belong in a desert in the middle east. Personally, I really really really like this fun educational site that's all about the Hummer and it's... whatever it has. Shit? Fake rich kids? Bullshit? Heffer excrement? You decide, because I can't pick.

Last on that list, of course, who do I get behind on a main road heading east? That's right, Colonel Sanders and his extra crispy thigh-mobile. If I had a Subaru XT6, you can bet that wedge would have jacked his rear wheels off the ground and I would have hauled ass for him down the road.

In the words of Fake Steve Jobs (who is back by the way), I hate Frigtards. Will someone tell them to please turn in or shred their licenses, and all important legal documents declaring that they are indeed legal U.S. citizens? That would be great. Thanks.

THANK YOU APPLE IPHONE HELP GUY!

2008-06-27T11:31:00.003-04:00

So I just got off the phone with some guy on that Applecare help line thing, and someone named...

Ok I won't name him, but let's say his name is Bob.

He said that the iPhone 2.0 Software that comes out July 11th "should offer backup for the notes" in the form of syncing. He sounded like he was unsure of himself in telling me that, but still, he said so.

Now, my Camera will work only if I don't restore from my previous backup. Which means I have to lose all my Webclips and such... I don't know if I wanna do that. That means I have to do it all again and waste my time... Nah.

So I'll just wait until 2.0 software and continue wiping my phone when I need the camera, syncing the photos back, and then hitting that backup button.

Thanks... um, Bob. I have something new to look forward to.

iPhone 2.0 Note Sync - compliments of an Applecare help phone support random guy!

Watch no one read this, and then make a big fuss out of it when it actually comes.

You're welcome Skippy.

I know, thank you.

I take it back

2008-06-22T10:55:00.002-04:00

Any new pictures, aside from the one that's already there, are still the grey shadowbox thing.

So much for the quick fix... Thank you again random internet tech helpers.

This is why I'm here. I'll fix it. Like everything else.

The Big Namaste

2008-06-22T01:22:00.002-04:00

All is well in the iUniverse.

That little trick in the previous post worked out.

I think until the 2.0 software comes out, I'll be leaving at least one photo in the Camera Roll so iPhone doesn't forget how to work itself.

Thank you random helpful internet people. Check is in the mail. Ok, not really.

I loves me some technology.

iPhone Camera Glitch

2008-06-22T00:56:00.002-04:00

So, I go to use my iPhone's camera yesterday, and I'm hit with a snag.

The little bastard thinks that games are fun, and Vista-like simpleton problems are funny to the user.

No.

They piss the user off, and the user then want's to turn the user's iPhone into an iFrisbee into the user's living room wall.

I may have found a solution, right here, that fixes it. We shall see. I'm restoring it as I share these life changing secrets with you now.

I'll report back here for duty and let all of you - my readers - my friends - know how it worked, or if it even worked, or if my iPhone is a steamy little pile of used parts on my floor.

Any way this goes, I'm waking up to scrambled eggs and salsa tomorrow morning. It will be a good morning. I just feel it.

How good? As good as Dale Jr's Michigan win. As good as July 11th will be with the 3G iPhone's launch. As good as an end-of-the-day Wal*Mart cinnamon roll on discount because no one else wants it.

I love cheap things.

Like politics!

WOOHOO DALE JR!

2008-06-17T13:13:00.002-04:00

He finally won an actual points event!

Now, after he finally wins, just like I've said, people think it wasn't fair that he passed the pace car.

Well you know what's cool?

You can gripe all you want but it won't change the outcome.

Dale won it on father's day, after his 76 race winless streak. His father Dale Sr won 76 career races. He won it at Michigan, where he ran a cream colored retro #8 in tribute to his Dale Sr and his grandfather Ralph. A few little coincidences? Not sure.

Fuck the pace car. Anyone can pass it for a few seconds and not get shot in the face. Stop griping because your favorite driver's didn't win or lost out at the last second. It's all about strategy, and obviously at Michigan your driver didn't have it.

The #88 Amp car finally got a points win. Amen.

He's third in standings - let's see where this leads. Rock on.

Post WWDC

2008-06-12T23:03:00.003-04:00

So. I went into a deep seclusion for the past few days, I mean after all, how am I supposed to feel after misinforming you about WWDC and the great things that you'll experience?

You'll see the new iPhone - Check - iPhone 3G
You'll see a device revised - Check - iPhone 3G, duh
You'll see a new networking and online solutions tool - Check - Mobile Me
You may see a short demo of something big to come later - Check - Snow Leopard
You'll see an entirely new device - WRONG - DAMN IT TO HELL

Where was it Steve? You left it out! Just as you cut out It's A Small World as your hellistic plot bent on world domination was playing with the 70 red lucky iPhone receiving countries.

I'm not at liberty to discuss this, but I'm gonna have to get to the bottom of this. I don't know...

Somehow it looks like my weekend is shot to hell as I try to hunt down some important business-like men for my own personal benefit. I have to hunt them down like a Civic driver so I can get up underneath them and turn them into the rail on the highway. Damn it.

In the words of Kurt Donald Cobain, "I hate myself and want to die"...

No I'm kidding, people are way too fun, and useable.

Google Search, here I come.

Just 3 Hours Left

2008-06-09T10:07:00.005-04:00

Steve Jobs is going to give the world more gifts with thanks to my favorite little Cupertino company.

In honor of the occasion, I decided to add on another feature to my blog. Just scroll over any link like this Google one and SnapShots will offer a preview of whatever you plan to click away on before you go to that page.

We'll see how I like it. Not sure about it yet really. It's all about the user experience though, right?

I'm kidding, I'll see what I think about it.

I need to go rest up, fellow Bloggees... Blogists? Bloggers.

I'll see you after the Stevenote. Maybe on my new iTablet? Who knows? Well, ok Steve does, but I don't get to talk to him all too often of course. He's a busy man you know. Almost as busy as Mel Gibson - who, by the way, will tell you so himself.

I really hope he has nothing to do with the Guitars...

SteveNote

2008-06-08T23:11:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow.

10:00 AM Cali-time, 1:00 PM New Yorker-time.

Am I the only person on this planet that's looked forward to it since last years?

I have a feeling this is gonna be awesome.

Not only that. I'm Skippy. Let me explain...

Tomorrow.

You'll see the new iPhone, you'll see an entirely new device, you'll see a device revised, you'll see a new networking and online solutions tool, and you may see a short demo of something big to come later.

Skippy said so.

Tomorrow.

We'll see.

Update:
I had no idea that SteveNote was an actual slang term. I just started it saying a couple days ago. Awesome.

Snow Leopard?

2008-06-05T15:59:00.002-04:00

So, my take on this sick little "Snow Leopard" OS rumor that's been floating around.

I actually think it's a possibility. As posted in response to a user on MacRumors, I side with the following.

Mac OS 10.6 may implement most of the actual OS 10.5 for a smaller fully Touch mobile device, such as the rumored "iTablet".

This would also make sense in like with those Intel only rumors, in the way that you wouldn't need or want to run it on any other device.

Why run an OS that's only made for one Touch device on anything else, and why keep PPC support if it's not used anywhere on said device?

I say bring it on. Give me my MacTouch, and iMac screen desktop dock. I have the Platinum MasterCard ready. Let's roll, Steve.

The Flying Doorstop

2008-06-04T11:11:00.002-04:00

This car.

Is a great car.

Have you ever been in it or driven it? Then do it.

It's a Subaru XT, made in the late 80's and early 90's, and it is good.

This thing is one bigass wedge. Can you guess how aerodynamic it is? The gas cap and door handles are all perfectly flush with the body.

Yeah. It's that good.

I know someone with an 89 XT6, and that car is the king of the city. All these little kids with their Civics and Mustangs think they have everything in a car.

No.

No they don't. This Subaru can trump any of these cars with sails on the trunk and plastic body kits that change the car beyond recognition.

Well. I may be on to something here. I may be close to a Subaru XT Turbo. Not as good as the XT6, but if you can't beat something, you best try to get on the same level.

Skippy may be going on tour.

FREE!

2008-06-03T11:01:00.003-04:00

No. I'm not giving away iPod Touches to every 10th visitor.

I would of course keep one and sell the rest on eBay for you.

When I say for you I mean to benefit this blog.

When I say benefit this blog I mean enhance my life with a BMW M5 and then explain all of it's wonderful features on here.

Well. Today's news.

Apple just launched their student promotion for this Summer. The deal is, buy a Mac - excluding the Mini - and you get a FREE iPod Touch or iPod Nano.

Yeah, I would sure go for that $200 Nano when I could get and sell the Touch for $300, buy a Nano and have $$ left over. That's a slick little promotion they have going there.

I think... This is officially... The Summer of Macs.

I think I should get iBook and iPhone brothers.

Peace from Wherever

2008-06-02T23:58:00.002-04:00

Who the hell knows where I am.

I'm off on vacation, and in a few short words.

It. Is. Good.

Where did the money come from to do this?

Who knows.

Why did I do this?

Who cares.

You know what all of America needs to do? Leave. That's right. Everyone in North America need to leave the continent for 24 hours. Come back and see where things are. The price of everything from gas to eggs to power scooters will have dropped 80%, and the government may be in turmoil, but that's ok.

It's just a damn good reason to get away from it all. Literally.

You know what else everyone needs to do?

Set their watches.

Know why?

Well. One simple reason. It's vacation. It's Miller time.

Last Published on May 13th?

2008-05-27T01:22:00.003-04:00

Are you serious? I have some fucking work to do. Just great.

Where do I even start?

Dale Jr's spectacular crown on his official 2 year winless streak thanks to some punk kid?

Nah...

The rumors of the 3G iPhone - no, no... the Apple Tablet that's been rumored too?

No, that would be like a re-hash of everything Fake Steve's done to death like Charles Manson's parole hearings. Isn't he dead yet?

I don't even know. Vista is loaded down with more problems than I've wanted to admit, and I'm now in the market for Airport Extreme so I can bring iBook back into this era. Those are a few updates in my world.

3 Doors Down and the Green Day side project Foxboro Hot Tubs both released their albums last Tuesday. 3 Doors Down has outdone themselves and it's a great album. Best Buy offers 2 extra tracks that are both great, and Walmart offers a DVD with interviews and such.

The Foxboro Hot Tubs album isn't bad at all either. It's packaged like a vinyl album, complete with realistic vinyl graphics and little paper sleeve providing the most advanced protection that today's paper can offer. It has a sound much like The Kinks, and it's worth it if you're into the retro punk unclean kind of sound.

Obama still can't crush Hillary, who keeps coming back like the Scream character, or Batman. She just won't stay down when she's shoved into a pool full of odds and ends. Personally, after all of this, I'm starting to hope she'll make it just to prove Obama supporters wrong - who I've found out are just as annoying as Windows users, and I don't quite know how this happened.

I finally accomplished some great promotion as well. MacRumors just posted an article on a 256GB SSD for the MacBook Air. It's still unclear if it will even fit in the Air, so yeah, it's not too certain and kind of open, but it's a possibility that slightly kinda sorta maybe it could perhaps work.

Just like Decision 08, or McLovin.

Oh yeah, that reminds me - The Big Lebowski kicks ass. I sort of zoned talking to someone at the end of the movie, and I missed it, but don't worry. If you didn't see it, I won't tell you that they all die.

No I'm kidding. I have to watch it and actually pay some attention to get it I think. The end sort of got so slow that when the credits started rolling I was caught by surprise. Good film though. Buy it. I would. I did. I went to 5 different stores, but I got it. Thank you Circuit City, whom I had to go to twice because employees were talking to each other on my first stop...

Yeah. I think that works.

Skippy offers apologies and condolences for being so absent lately. I won't leave your lives hanging like that too often. I had some important business-like business matters to... do business with.

No I just got really really lazy and didn't feel like typing, I'm not even gonna lie. You don't need that. No really, I swear to God you don't. It's not healthy. Like idiocy - and in the words of Ron White, "you can't fix stupid"... So true. Too bad though.

NFS Carbon

2008-05-13T01:27:00.003-04:00

Come race SkippyThorson in Need For Speed Carbon. Drop me a line and we can dual sometime.

I'd be happy to beat - I mean race you. Especially if a buddy of mine is there.

Oh if only you could see my sarcastic grin. You'd love our driving styles.

I'll be back Blogging in a while. Much to do here you know. Lots of work to be done in the life of me, and frankly, it's getting boring. I need pyrotechnics...

Almost 2 weeks...

2008-05-05T08:20:00.002-04:00

... since we last talked.

How have things been for you?

Good? Good.

Same here I'd say. Usual horse shit - with no pun on the Kentucky Derby.

Skippy became a happier person. I woke up to a text on my iPhone from a friend saying "New NIN album "The Slip" available totally free via nin.com."

No it wasn't an official Trent-message. Yet, I managed to drag my ass out of deep slumber to my Vista-box to get this thing before I had the chance of missing out.

I already had Discipline since the single was released free a while back, and I'm on track 3 - Letting You - and I'm really liking what I hear.

Which reminds me, I wanted to pick up With Teeth... um. Years ago. I may get on that.

No snyde Apple comments, no harsh attacks on humanity or the econo-hell. I think there's much waking up to do.

That NIN album The Slip can be found by going to NIN.com. You can figure it out from there, I hope. It's right there. At least today.

Peace holmes... and Trent.

Fuck. Phones.

2008-04-22T17:44:00.005-04:00

Boom.

Fuck it. See that picture?

No you don't because Blogger decided to be slow and tick me off further.

Fuck it.

The crappy web pages not loading, internet being slow as hell, and people rocking the Voyager.

I loathe that thing. With a passion. That burns like a thousand suns. If you own a Voyager, feel free to leave your comments in anger towards my position. Fine. Not my fault simply walking by a Verizon stand at a mall or something just gets me pissed.

It doesn't help when they ask me about my phone service either. AT&T owns you. More bars. More places. My mini-computer suits my needs, and I don't need a 7.2 megapixel camera, or take half hour videos to slip in my pocket, or the basic need to make calls - because honestly, when you own an iPhone, do you use it primarily for calls? No. It advances the male ego, and it is good.

...and yes I'll shamelessly promote them. When Verizon as a company can stop scooting their asses around the carpet of their corporate office, and realize the deal they lost out on by telling Apple "No" - which I may add, no one should dare - and they realize that the greatest little 3 inch piece of touch screen technology from the Cupertino desk of Steven P. Jobs is what everyone around them is trying to catch up with, I'll consider their Microshit-like Monopoly.

I just read something...

Where the fuck was it...

Here.

It says that "Verizon smokes a fat one while Cingular/AT&T shits on them and grabs the greatest handset on the market" - and you won't see that in there because every news columnist that writes about things like that is too afraid to go against a corporate giant and bash them like they've deserved for years.

Their internet service sucks - needless to say Time Warner in my area took over and sucks harder and longer - their phone service sucks - needless to say Time Warner in my area took over and sucks longer and harder - and I hate their employees. Every single one of the little grey-clad bastards.

Tell me the Voyager has GPS.

I need my phone to have GPS... so I can stand it up on my dashboard, or look down at my cup holder for the next left, or in New York State like everyone else does, hold it with one hand, watch it with one eye, and use my remaining available senses to stop at a red light without impaling the Prius in front of me. Which, I'm not gonna lie, I've wanted to do on more than one occasion.

No not use my phone - the Prius part.

What can I say. I'm a brand loyal person. If your tastes don't meet mine, I'm not gonna sugar coat it and say that "well, it's what you like that matters"... No. It means that you simply don't have my same perfect taste, and that's a damn shame, and it sucks to be you, and until you wake up, and smell your Folger's Premium Roast Mudpie, you will never learn.

Speaking of which, let me take this time for a lesson in happiness.

If you want to experience perfection, buy ONLY the following brands in their respective lines:
Apple
General Motors
Pepsi-Cola
Wrangler
Tylenol
Nike
and whatever is found on the hood of Nascar Nextel Cup stock cars in the top 20 in points.

For the love of i

2008-04-18T23:26:00.002-04:00

Not myself. The love of all things i.

A tainted iPhone. Including a slide out keyboard.

Who the hell in the name of the Dali Llama would go for that thing?

Steve was entirely against 2 things a year ago - both cheap plastic components. A stylus, who yuck, nobody wants... and the slide-out plastic keyboard. It's a load of bullshit - or billshiza as I hear it called in some ghettos.

I have spent the last few days getting over a cough and a cleansed sewer, and this is the thanks the universe gives me for promoting purity? Screw this.

In other news. Skippy is on his way to a shiny new - ok old - Camaro. It's a past drag car, and the rear wheels are like something you'd find on John Force's car, and I love it.

It's 4 g's son.

I'd drop that. Hell I dropped half that on a phone.

I don't buy anything else. All else is unnecessary. Obsolete. Crap.

More as time flies son. Discuss.

Deep Thought

2008-04-17T23:28:00.002-04:00

Skippy has been a little out of it.

It involves lemon juice, maple syrup and Joe Thorton.

Yeah. Holmes is cool.

I'll return this weekend.

Heh heh heh

2008-04-10T23:45:00.005-04:00

I do a 5 day hiatus every month. At least...

This time though, I'm digging up dirt on a certain something.

Look for detailed iPhone games via a new improved accelerometer.

Be ready for an unbelievably easy way to accept iCal invites with a new feature.

All thinner than you thought.

iPhone 2.0 - on it's way... Somewhere.

Oh Smack

2008-04-06T00:08:00.007-04:00

Is my rant on the preppy shoppers still creating a buzz?

I suppose this is how Martha Stewart exploded... and in the same vain I think it's time to shut this down.

Skippy keeps on a-roaring through the Interwebz at blazing fast 1999 speeds. This rocks.

Excuse me while I go back to counting my green made from the largest retail chain in America, and not of the hand shaped variety. You know what I mean creepy old guy.

I'm listening to Burger Man by ZZ Top and calling some hippie creepy. I should be ashamed.

I'm not one for anonymous posts. It drags down my blog's overall happiness.The happy uplifting letters of hope you've come to know. One comment is from a kid with 2 profile views, and no blog at all, and the other is from a kid who believes social networking is the literal definition of posting a single entry on how he's a lazy sod who doesn't like gyms and how donuts are healthy as building blocks for that leaning tower over in France or something. I didn't get it. See for yourself.

There's a reason I don't just give out my personal details, such as money. How could I take away the reason that allows me to bitch about the Trump Tower dwellers from the view of the Trailer Trash millions? I would come up with a clever comeback to respond to their highly intellectual comments like last time, but I simply don't have the vast superior knowledge of all things literature and numerical... shame.

Oh, and yes, my tears are shed for those of you reading this from their silver streak twinkie house.

Loved or hated, it's working. You probably aren't sure what it is, and it ain't Cher. I hear something. A small but growing buzzing sound...

3G fakePhone

2008-04-04T13:39:00.007-04:00

Has anyone seen this thing?

The 3G iPhone.

Whoops.

I mean clever ColorWare mockup of a Black iPhone edited to take out the seam between the antennae and the metal.

Whoever has the time to go out and do this is a blazing moron.

Hm, I've never known Apple to ever put an engraving on anything other than Chrome (All of the chrome-backed iPods) and the metals found on the iPhone, second generation Nano, and recent Shuffles. Perhaps another little tech wonder slipped by me, being awake for 2 hours, but let's think people. This is a glossy black, probably plastic, shit, thing. Why would Apple engrave plastic?

Holy. Crap.

Crap crap crap.

People, don't fall victim to idiocy. I know it's hard, but please try not to be a blubbering blundering moron every waking second of your existence. Do the best you can.

Skippy On The Rise

2008-04-02T00:36:00.002-04:00

And fall - I hit a high yesterday of 118 on Blog Toplist. This is an exciting time for all of us --

I mean...

This is great. That's the highest I've ever been.

I surmise it had something to do with my controversial rich person rant.

Rock on. I need to vent more often.

Didn't post yesterday because you would all just think I'm April Fooling you - and I don't want to let down my loyalists.

I mean followers.

I mean fans.

So, now I'm at 156. That's ok. It's better than not existing there at all.

It's All About Opinion

2008-03-31T14:51:00.007-04:00

I will attempt to be less drunk when I write speeches about the fabulous life of the rich and famous. In the past 48 hours, the United States population has presented me with two offended souls. For which, I indeed take pity.

See here. This is my personal favorite of the two (thus far), and to you, Mr. Anonymous, I wish to give my sincerest apologies. No, really. I do. I feel you holmes. Like Mr. Jackson does kindergarten.

I know what you're all thinking. I can't be trusted. I mean I've gone on drunken Nogasaki raves and encounters with an icon... Honestly, when will the bullshit in this blog end?!

The profanity... I mean, if your child under the age of 14 is reading this blog, for the love of Allah, rip him by his denim collar out of that computer chair and scold him with a liquid soap and vinegar mixture to the eyes.

The day this blog is politically correct is the day where Microsoft goes bankrupt.

Yes, my adoring fans, I will not disappoint you. You will each have a voice, and your opinions will all be heard. Through me - the truth. The absolute supremacy directly above your mother's dictatorship. I will not spank you.

When you shat upon my rolling hills of wheat, when you ravaged the beauty of my wetlands with non biodegradable generic Cola bottles, and when you voted Dubbya to office, I was right there. All around you... Yeah, right.

Give me a break. I don't care about your opinions or concerns... Mine matter.

If you don't know what's up in this blog by now, then prepare to be appalled when you sift through past entries. I can only give you my support.

I can never get enough of middle class America. Great stuff.

I can see it now. I'll be talking to Matt Lauer come 2012... or before the world ends. Whichever comes first.

Update:
Skippy jumped up 51 spots on Blog Toplist in the past 3 hours. Kick ass.

Do you like money?

2008-03-29T22:58:00.009-04:00

So do I.

This one goes out to you, rich American home owner in the rich part of your town, wherever that may be.

To all of those who achieved high paying jobs straight out of college, and to all of those who can afford the luxuries in life like a 3rd or 4th car.

May your son and or daughter have a BMW on their 16th birthday, and may they have everything you've known and more.

I hope people like you read this, because man (or woman), this one is sure for you! You hard working American, you.

Let me tell you something. You kind of people are so arrogant, that half the time I have to put a megaphone to your fat ass just so you can hear me.

Rich people disgust me. The kinds that sit home watching Oprah worrying about the troubles of the world, while watching the stock market on an iPhone they got from their last $2,000 raise, hoping that their future doesn't depend on how Dow Jones does tomorrow.

You know the kinds - the people that make in excess of $60,000 a year and all of a sudden think that they've been blessed by the Gods an can do no wrong. So to convince themselves that they aren't worthless idiotic nothings, they run out to Dolce & Gabbana to better the world - their world.

Fuck your world.

I know what you're thinking. You just sat back in your chair, and either gasped or scoffed. Well, screw that too.

When you're so high and mighty, that money is no object, and you can go anywhere you want on this globe at the drop of a hat by just packing up and leaving, it looks like someone needs to readjust their priorities. There are people that can't do that, and have to actually work for a living, doing something that you could never do, and that's get your hands dirty.

Real hard working down home Americans that work for their family to give them something more than a shoe collection. It's the stupid preppy nose-to-the-sky kinds that everyone else should be looking down on. Stop thinking you can buy your kids everything to make them happy.

You can't. You never will... but go ahead, and keep sitting at your Windows office computer making those big bucks typing away while other people are breaking their backs to make a fraction of what you will this year. Aren't you proud?

Teach your kid how their car works. When they've turned mommy and daddy's birthday gift into a smear on the NYS Thruway, I'm going to drive right on by, on my way to work.

Work.

Real work.

You hear that? Hello? Ass? Anyone in there?

Sure, you've got low prices...

2008-03-27T23:36:00.003-04:00

...but you've also got throngs of screaming crying whining smelly drooling dirty obnoxious spoiled rotten kids.

All I want to do is organize my shoe department in peace and quiet, but no. There's some child in a cart turned around shouting repeatedly to her mother who I am sure is already across the store, if not already out in the parking lot feverishly trying to start her Grand Caravan to get out of there in the quickest way possible without being told by the cops or this guy that you aren't supposed to do shit like that... Whoops.

I need a vacation. From the truth.

Well, in other news - Apple of course - it looks like the Mac Mini could still see it's bright little future way in the distance. It could be updated, and kept around for a good while. Interesting to hear, considering I may be picking one up eventually... See, Steve knows what's up. We have an understanding.

In other news, I want this... Or even better, this concept car seen here and here. Apparently it was going to be a one of a kind for Dale Earnhardt Sr., but it instead morphed into the 2000 production car. Great stuff. Rock on, 6th generation Monte Carlo.

Go Mopar. Later holmes.

Skippy Stock is Down

2008-03-24T15:29:00.003-04:00

Look at that, I'm gone for a 5 day Easter break and I am torn down to 172 on Blog Top List.

Bloody hell.

Anyway, news is here. It's finally happening. Vista will be cured for all. No more Blue Screen of Death.

Apple is stepping up to take care of Vista.

That's right, I said it. Steve-O is going to end up saving us all from the nightmare that Bill Git started not long ago.

See here. I have to be off to prepare myself for an evening including seemingly violent action movies and Cheetos. Peace.

Emerald City Underway

2008-03-19T23:45:00.003-04:00

Has anyone seen this pile of shit? Please tell me you have.

Apparently, this thing is gonna take down the Mall of America. It's going to be the biggest baddest thing yet. More so than the Big Dig, and probably twice the nightmare.

This thing was proposed in 1997. Then it expanded into someone's idea of a joke.

Well. They've gotten nowhere. It's still hell. The roads are terrible - it's more confusing to navigate than the Rachel Ray Recipe Book, and is a bigger nightmare than George Bush interrupting your favorite sitcom to tell America he fucked up in a nutshell.

The appearance of this building... Holy... Crap...

I can't even put it into words. I was all for it. I'm thinking to myself, 'Hey a mega-Apple Store'... No. We get something inspired by a fucking Bug's Life.

It's Green, but it's not. It may actually be green, and it's supposed to be an eco-friendly building... but... with one flaw.

It's being built on wetlands, damn it.

Who knows when it's supposed to be done. I'm placing bets on the 'my generation will never see it' slot.

GodPhone = Truth = Control Your PC

2008-03-16T01:43:00.006-04:00

Yo. Holmes. Ever wanted to run Windows on your iPhone? Literally?

Not necessarily Parallels, but you won't need it.

You'll never guess what I uncovered.

Right HERE.

It's called BeFree4iPhone.

What is this you ask?

A tool that will change your life.

This requires NO hacking or jailbreaking of your iPhone, and will work if you've crossed over to the dark side or not. I personally haven't, and never will, so this was the first part that drew me in.

What can you do?

You can literally control your PC remotely from your iPhone, where you want, when you want. You sinply touch the screen where you want your cursor, and you constantly have the option to click, double click, or... other things I haven't gotten into yet. You see, and control, your computer. You see your desktop pseudo-live (there is some delay time) just as if you were sitting in front of it.

There are bigass buttons on the bottom that I knew about, but right now, in my fit of technological-wonder, forgot the depth of them. Some of them are: To File Browser, Minimize All Windows, To Remote Control, etc. There are more.

You can zoom in and out and all that jazz, so don't worry about trying to click that little 2 millimeter iTunes or AIM "X" in the top right corner, and such.

I have a dock on my home screen - ObjectDock - and simply going over one of the icons will allow me to click them, but goes not give the mouseover effect. Not sure if that's simply delay or an animation you don't see.

I may get more into this eventually. Who knows. I am finally becoming a sick little tech-helper. Amen.

It is also listed at Apple as a Web App HERE.

You rock, BeFree4iPhone people, really. You do.

5th gen iPod Update

2008-03-14T16:15:00.004-04:00

Got this iPod?

Then run to that little love child of yours, and pop that usb in.

Gently now. Ever so gently. Don't cram it in, you ass.

NOW GO! UPDATE DAT ASS! SYNC! SYNC!

What do you gain from this? What great new features did Apple include in this v1.3 update that "Supersedes" all previous updates?!

To borrow a line from Pirates of Silicon Valley; "Nothing. Not a damn thing."

Bug fixes, as far as anyone can tell. I know... but please, keep it in the pants. Don't end up like this... or like some people.

Thanks though Steve. Give that white shiny plastic a little more love before you say goodbye. Don't be afraid.

Update:
Safari seems snappier.

Oh wait... Nevermind.

Man, I love mini-code.

Hi Roller

2008-03-10T22:35:00.004-04:00

No, not the band.

I know it's hard for you to all believe, but Skippy has consistantly been in the top 200 of Blog TopList. I find that halfway decent since I've only been doing this for a few months.

I'm also getting a little somewhere in the PhotoCrank world. Even if some people don't have a sense of humor like I do.

No I'm kidding. I love ripping on people for weeks for something they did that took like 5 seconds of my time. It always makes for a good day. At least this guy thought so... and her... oh, and them.

No, I'm fucking with you. I don't know any of them. Hopefully they don't mind the honor of being on my blog. Like some people.

I need stuffed shells and maybe a couple cannolis... but with chocolate chips, the way they were intended to be. Ask Don Corleone.

I would make a great fat man.

Bloody Hell

2008-03-09T23:53:00.003-04:00

So the insanely great image from my last entry is removed.

Yeah, I took it off myself, cause I'm just a nice guy. Oh, and I'm a fucking people person.

Someone somewhere said that he created it and doesn't like direct links because I'm stealing his traffic that is evidently up in the high dozens. Whoops.

You know, Google Images provides me with every photo I've uploaded, and if anyone doesn't want me to swipe a photo off there for any reasons, don't let Google crawl your site. They sort of don't find you magically - I know, dream crusher.

So. That dude's happy. I think.

Let's see here now.

Taylor Hicks won American Idol for a damn good reason. Rock on, new age soul music stuff.

You know how it sounds good?

It sounds good on an iPhone, in your hand, using the touch screen to navigate to the album just because you can and no one else around you can touch their music because they all use Hellphones. I have GodPhone, as we've all come to know it. Great, great stuff.

It's a soul thing, or so I'm told by iTunes in my start / menu / task bar thing. Whatever Redmond is calling it this year.