We're All Going To Die

That being said, and that amazing helmet idea (thanks to explodingdog) taken into consideration, I have to say... We're all going to die.

I was falling asleep last night pretty early. It was about 2:00am. Just after I washed my feet Lord-Style and climbed into bed, I heard a voice. Yup, 'twas none other than good buddy Jesus. I wasn't necessarily listening because I was watching my recorded episode of American Chopper, and there was something about death and chocolates going on... Or something close.

Jesus was all like, "Yo, listen up. I've been thinking. Stuff's going down, and it's gonna go down hard. Bears are melting and the polar ice is slowly dying off, or so I was told." I was all, "I know Jesus, I know. What's the issue?"

Jesus was all like, "Yo, you aren't listening. I SENT A TORNADO YOUR WAY, and no one seems to care. You're in the Mohawk Valley. Things like this don't happen in places like that. The second largest Nuclear disaster EVER is happening right now - and that shit just got kicked up to a SEVEN - a huge earthquake happened under water that sent aftershocks well into the next month, Walmart is getting sued, and people are blaming Apple for something bad. Does this all add up yet? Does it add up to anything good if it does?"

I was all... "Well, it means that the Apple products sold at Walmart containing primarily Japanese components will all be going on sale pretty soon."

Jesus just shook his head.

Then he said, "I was actually looking at the white iPad 2."

I was like, "There you go, Jesus." We had a good laugh.

Then Al Gore came in, dressed like an Alaskan King Crab. He started yammering about animal conservation in colder regions. I promptly told him to go "pound sand", and that "I love seafood."

Then I woke up.

Moral of the story: No pizza before bed, no terrors in your head.

Apple Employees Speak On Behalf Of The Trevor Project

After watching the full video intently about The Trevor Project on MacRumors, and reading 19 posts in to the accompanying thread, I was trying to see what morons could have voted negative on a video and write-up like that.

I was wrong to think that only a moron could vote negative on it, and even though I didn't need to admit what I thought, I'd rather admit that what I thought was wrong. 20 posts in, there was a comment from a user that I really liked:

"I have a couple problems with this approach. There's so much attention brought to this issue of specifically gay bullying that it's hard to see this outside of the framework of identity politics.

Where's the videos and support for fat kids being bullied? Aren't they suicidal, too, or are we saying here that gays have a particular emotional defect and weakness? They're not strong enough to tough this out? Is that the image the gay community wants to promote?

Man, being a fat kid in high school. That was rough. There were a number of cool, popular gay guys in my school. I'm sure they took some crap from some people, but oh how I would have rather been one of them! But hey, I'm still here, I'm still alive.

Bullying is a universal problem that affects just about anyone with some kind of difference others choose to pick on. It seems like everyone is just ignoring all that for this hip, trendy cause."

I see where he's coming from. I believe that this movement was primarily brought on my the hit TV show GLEE, with that main character that is gay, and is bullied all the time. I have to say, I've yet to see a movement to reach out to the overweight - those "fat" people. In which, I hate that F word more than Fuck.

I have seen many outreach programs to the homosexual; gay, whatever you'd like to call it. I see a massive arm hugging that community and embracing them with sympathy and kind words.

Then I turn on the television.

I see Dr. Phil ripping people's personal lives open, along with their fridge, to pry and interrogate why they're overweight. I see reality shows about the half-ton-teenager. I see no love. I see a society condemning heavy people just because they're overweight.

I similarly see many "For Homosexual Children" programs at school. I see no "For Overweight Children" programs - I see absurdly emphasized Physical Education programs, where emphasis is on playing Basketball and Baseball well, and if you can't handle it, then too bad; learn.

I do have to say, I voted positive on that article, because this video and this cause is excellent. My argument here seems negative because we've only begun to cater to one group. We need to embrace and care about everyone for all reasons - not just because everyone else is doing it. Doing that, don't we just get right back to where we started?

Damn...

That was extremely Un-Skippy.

Holy crap.

News about the hysterical side of natural disaster coming up soon!

Enquirer Picks On Steve Jobs

On one hand, I have to say that even if it's true, it's like Mike said. I've had relatives in for cancer treatment, and each time, the end result was 'cancer-free'. However, those people still see cancer treatment specialists for check-ups. Cancer is a thing where, once you get it, you get checked in on for the rest of your life. That's the only way there is to learn anything about it.

On the other hand, I do actually believe this one is bogus, for a number of reasons.

A) When have we ever seen Steve wear a button down? I'm not saying mock-turtlenecks are all the man has, but I've yet to ever see him in a button down anything. Not even a full button down suit.

B) In the picture on the left, look at his hair. Steve has always had very short salt-&-pepper hair. The person in this picture has a rather long little tuft of hair flapping in the breeze. Let's remember that he had cancer. The last thing that would happen is a sudden burst of hair growth.

C) In the picture where his hand is circled (for who knows what reason) he's leaning up against a car. Unless he stepped off a curb, stumbled, and caught himself, I don't think he'd just lean up against a car. A car which certainly does not have a Mercedes-Benz tail light.

So, Intel Is Building MacBook Pros Now

Let me make my triumphant return by explaining something about the above image that's sparked my interest.

It's not a Mac.... Well... Anymore. Here's why.

First off, see that glaring reflection on the screen, coming from the top right and going diagonal to bottom left? I challenge you to find an image of a Mac, of any sort, that DOESN'T have that exact same glare. It's identical to Apple's stock computer desktop images.

However, going across like that, they would have had to edit the entire image to depict the new screen. Would they go through all that trouble?

Second, the top left of that window with the car, you see that? On the very top left, are window controls functions. Where have we all seen those? They're the little traffic-light-looking-icons that represent the Close / Minimize / Expand functions of any single application on the Mac. Albeit small, you can certainly make them out. Even if you're one of the few that can't, there's no disputing that they're on the top left, and not top right, like any Windows computer would be.

However, the interface of that open window isn't exactly the spitting image of any Mac application that I've ever seen.

Third, on the main desktop of the computer, take a look at the bottom right. There's a little volume slider. You can tell it's a volume slider because of the icons on either side of it, and the color of the bar (and even the way the slider itself is) seems to resemble the iPhone volume sliders of the iOS.

However, that's one of the easier potential Photoshops on the page, if you really want to dispute it.

Fourth, is on that little window with the surfer off to the right. Nothing in particular I guess. It's just a little window of a program. That little surfer with the yellow board has been somewhere else, though.

However, does it not look similar to the new iMovie?

Fifth, I have to note the machine itself. As we can see, it's black. You're thinking, Apple hasn't offered a black computer since the black plastic MacBook. To take it a step further, if you want to compare screen sizes, it looks like more of a 16:10 ratio than 16:9. Let's just compare it to the available laptops... Looks a bit different. It's also shockingly thin if it's smaller than the MacBook Air since it has less of a tapered edge.

However, if you take a silver Apple laptop, and put it up against a white background, perhaps the easiest thing to do is to simply darken the image so much that it looks black. Something I do to my own pictures on occasion.

However, that can be construed completely wrong, and that's a story for another day.

Back to the Mac...

It's up to you to decide. Is Intel the culprit that should be locked up for leaking a new or redesigned Mac, or is it just the best mash-up of available laptops we've ever seen for a generic ad? Something to think about.

I always did say that Apple didn't change their own website for nothing. They darkened the color of their navigation bar, among adding some other effects. The color before was oddly close to their signature anodized aluminum unibodies. Someone didn't just go in and change that color without reason.

LiquidMetal has been rising in Apple's eyes, and maybe it's become the apple of their own eyes.

Back To The Mac Predictions

You know what I haven't done in a while? Told you what Apple plans on doing today.

I want to keep it short at 3 main points, so here goes.

A) Steve will come out and give financial stats. Best quarter Apple's ever seen. Stock way up; milestones broken. iPad selling like hotcakes, iPhone constraints are finally easing up. That "10's of millions of FaceTime devices" claim will be happening soon.

B) Steve is going to move on to software. Two software discussions today - the new iLife, more than likely skipping that 2010 or 2011 dating issue, and Max OS X Lion

iLife is going to see some minor updates to Garageband, iMovie, and iPhoto, but the new program is so tightly under wraps that the only thing I can say is that it's going to be software creating software. It'll be schweet.

OS 10.7 is going to integrate a lot of what people have become accustomed to in the iOS. There's a chance that the auto-correct typing feature just may make an appearance in the desktop OS. Rubber-band scrolling is a definite future feature.

C) The MacBook Air. Are we kidding? Of course we know there's going to be a new air. I can't definitely confirm the dual USB thing, but it seems very likely. It is closely going to resemble the MacBook Pro screens, with the black bordered screen, but to keep price and weight down, it may not be glass - or at least maybe not the same glass.

The cool little feature about the lack of an optical drive means that there's a key on their standard keyboard that the MacBook air doesn't need. To save just that extra bit of room, and make it look more minimal, the eject button that's on most keyboards will be the power button for the Air.

The new version is going to look even thinner, and be a combination of the curvy and shapely white MacBook and the aluminum back of the iPad. It will definitely be 11.6", because as a widescreen laptop, the smallest you can go without downscaling the keyboard... Is the half way mark between 11" and 12". Anything smaller, and the keyboard takes a hit.

There you have it. Now, let's wait and see.