Spreading the iPod Love

This is how planet earth is. You know you're a genius when you can have groups of your friends want an iPod after telling them day in and day out about how great they are and how much better they're lives would be if they had one. I've gotten 2 people to directly go out and buy iPod Nanos. One tricks his out with any glorious accessory that fits his love child, and the other went out to the Apple Store just to get the Product Red version. Now, someone else wants the new 3rd gen Nano. The love spreads. I told you all the 60's would be right back!

Now it's not even stopping there. My business partner Joe has an iPhone. Fucking loves the thing. He gives free demos when anyone asks about it like he works for Apple already. Which, ok, we basically do, Steve Jobs just doesn't know it yet. You see, he now has 2 other people planning on buying it in the near future, and dozens upon dozens of others that can only drool over it... because I guess they can't even use iTunes with their VistaBoxes. Go figure. Thanks to Gizmodo warning all of those I haven't reached yet through my extensive grasp. Reason #2 why I don't own an iBrick, #1 being that I used iTunes to sync to my iPod only once. So I could update it. Finally.

Oh, yes, details you ask? Sure. It's a 30 gb 5.5 gen. Oh, and yes, it's snow white.

What does Vistard do for me instead, to ease my frustrations? It tells me I can no longer watch Pirates of Silicon Valley on my snow white iPod, because the file wasn't... I don't even know. It wasn't perfect I guess. A bit picky aren't we Mr. Gates? My question of the week. Will Vista ever get out of it's seemingly permanent beta stage?

I can't wait to claim former Vista user status.

Lack of Traffic

Alright, I'm not doing this for my health. I expect to see people's comments and praise for my work just as I had envisioned after my trip down a flight of stairs. I'm listening to Elvis 30 #1s, and staring at a snow white eMac, with my iBook off to the side, and I'm beginning to wonder where all you aHoles are out on the Interwebz...

I said to myself, "Self... do this for the good of the community, and there's no doubt that you will be showered with much appreciation and affection from the general public, of which you both don't know but know everything about". Fair enough I thought.

Obviously, you've all been off performing your sick boring day in / day out / day old jobs, and not enjoying life as you would if you were sitting at your badass Windows XP machines reading my all powerful blog. That's ok though, I understand. You want Vista. You want 'The Wow', and you want it to 'Start Now'... Let me know which version and I'll let Billy Gates hear your prayers. I can't get you Ultimate though... The folks at Redmond say that the Ultimate Vista would give me too much power and I may ultimately overthrow the leaders at Wal*Mart and turn it into a dark empire or something...

No but seriously, we're hiring for the holiday season. Please send me your applications, social security numbers, substantial amounts of money and / or small children capable of heavy lifting, and I will be sure to get back to you. E-Mail address is provided, um, somewhere. Well it's Skippy.Thorson at-so spammers don't rape my inbox-gmail.com... Seriously, hit me up holmes. We'll spread the love and all that crap like it's the 60's again.

Awakenings: VistaBox

So, yesterday, not only did I end up getting my Vista powered HP to well, come alive, I learned that Vista (so far) isn't the crackpot OS that it's made out to be. I found myself getting lost in the realm of Windows. I was more productive in the course of 4 hours last night with Vista than I was the entire first week I started with XP.

From 1999 to June of last year, I had been living with Windows 98 on an IBM machine, with my condolences going out to Steve Jobs for my actions. I then jumped right into the new land of the Windows eXPerience. So much for that. It was a Gateway. When will people learn. Make something perfect or dont make it at all. To quote one of my favorite education packed PS2 games, "if you can't take the heat, get out of the nuclear reactor."

Fuck 'em. I went on ebay and picked up a G4 Apple iBook. I've yet to have any problems with my year and a half old used laptop, yet a brand new Gateway fries the motherboard and takes the processor down with it. Yeah, I know, computers suck, and blah, blah, blah... Whatev's home slice.

I get this HP. It has Vistard. Ok. I can live with that. If you don't hold the Windows and E keys, you shouldn't have any problems. Oh, and AIM put a color change feature in so that you can blend it's windows in with the Vista black and blue theme. Another feature I liked from AIM, is that it locks to the side of the screen - and it blocks out Yahoo Widgets, I mean "Gadgets" very nicely.

It's good stuff once it actually starts up. I have one gripe though, and I send this with sweaty fat ass love to Mr Billy Gates.

The next time you tackle a new operating system, try to copy OS X a little better. You missed a few things.

Weekend Over, Back to Work

So this was my weekend in a nutshell. Friday evening I stayed in and watched some high quality television shopping. My fellow humanites, that is a relaxing time. Sit back on your reclining couch and suck back a bottle of Pepsi Summer Mix that you found still lingering around your local Walmart, and you have no worries. Let the nieghborhood kids rip up your begonias. Who cares. You're an American.

I followed that up on Saturday with a supposedly hellistic ritualistic tradition that involves turning a harmless orange vegetable into an evil glowing child of the night. Why? Well, it's because I'm full of fucking seasonal spirit, that's why, and if anyone tries to tell me I'm not, I'll back it up by building you a haunted house out in some old barn in the boonies. I'll get Charles Manson to come up and play the Wolfman. I swear to god I will.

Sunday I got up to a glorious day, knowing that soon I would be going to the Apple Store in my nearby Carousel Mall, and I would be coming home with a new Hewlett-Packard tower, naturally joined with the new excting Windows Vista. (Go figure.) they keep their Apple Stores clean and polished. Upon closing time, I discovered that all of the iEmployees wipe down everything in the store. Nice. That is the way to be. No one wants a 30 inch cinema display with dust on it. I want it prestine, and they knew that. Great bunch of upper class folks.

My VistaBox is sitting in my living room. I'll let you in on The Wow when I get it optimized for an additional fee. Word. Peace out holmes.