OBAMA!!!

It's been 50 days people.

50 days. There's something political about that number. I'm not sure why.

That's almost, if I do the math correctly, a mathematical shitload of days.

What has happened since the 15th of September?

Lots.

Tony Fadell is leaving Apple, which is a shame because he was great with the iPod, but now wants to be a regular iFather to regular iChildren. Can't say I blame him on that one. At least his children won't make him do 90 hours a week.

Steve released new Aluminum MacBooks to the world. Thank you, Steve, oh forgetter of the Mac Mini - the little GodBox that so many Windows users turn to when their Gateway towers turn themselves into burnt toast for no other reason just because... Garbage.

So what else has been going on with my people of earth?

Oh, that's right. A little holiday fell upon us in which the premise seems to be that small unsightly children whom haven't bathed in days awaiting sugar and other garbage to rot their teeth show up at your doorstep and scream some slogan that they got from God knows where demanding the candy which they have knowingly so rightfully earned because of their dedication and helpfulness to the community in which they live only to come back hours later after they have taken your hypersnacks to toss rolls of asspaper and unhatched chickens at your place of residency simply because they have nothing better to do since their mothers have gone out to gamble away the preceding months paychecks and their overweight fathers are at home in their skivvies watching the newest episode of Mad Men.

Anyway, you all deserve another one of my excusplanations. I've been gone because there was no way I could handle an insightful critique blog like this without hundreds of requests to talk about Da 'Lection. Truth be told, I received no requests to do anything political, but I did receive a vision. No, I don't have a dream. I have an Obama.

AMEN I SAY UNTO YOU!

Barack Obama is to become our BushReplacement. Took long enough.

I don't believe though I gave up the chance to make fun of this. That's ok. I will in the future. I can't give that up - honestly. Rock on, Palin. Rock on.

I want to close on something inspirational that I remembered I heard a while ago.

It's not that life is so short it's that you're dead for so long.

Make the most of your pre-eternal slumber people. Live crispy.

Skippy has returned to the building.

Weekend Over, Back to Work

So this was my weekend in a nutshell. Friday evening I stayed in and watched some high quality television shopping. My fellow humanites, that is a relaxing time. Sit back on your reclining couch and suck back a bottle of Pepsi Summer Mix that you found still lingering around your local Walmart, and you have no worries. Let the nieghborhood kids rip up your begonias. Who cares. You're an American.

I followed that up on Saturday with a supposedly hellistic ritualistic tradition that involves turning a harmless orange vegetable into an evil glowing child of the night. Why? Well, it's because I'm full of fucking seasonal spirit, that's why, and if anyone tries to tell me I'm not, I'll back it up by building you a haunted house out in some old barn in the boonies. I'll get Charles Manson to come up and play the Wolfman. I swear to god I will.

Sunday I got up to a glorious day, knowing that soon I would be going to the Apple Store in my nearby Carousel Mall, and I would be coming home with a new Hewlett-Packard tower, naturally joined with the new excting Windows Vista. (Go figure.) they keep their Apple Stores clean and polished. Upon closing time, I discovered that all of the iEmployees wipe down everything in the store. Nice. That is the way to be. No one wants a 30 inch cinema display with dust on it. I want it prestine, and they knew that. Great bunch of upper class folks.

My VistaBox is sitting in my living room. I'll let you in on The Wow when I get it optimized for an additional fee. Word. Peace out holmes.