That's why the oil keeps pumping into the Gulf.
Al Gore called them up and was like, "Guys, we needta get on dis thang, cause the fishies are dyin'."
Then, that really mellow drugged up BP dude was like, "Well, we're doing everything we can to get this thing under control, and we're happy with our success, and last weeks Success Bonus we all received, and we can't wait to get things kicked off, but we're saddened by the lack of acceptance with our idea on how to make the water more slippery for the fishies."
That's how it went down. It went down like that because, quite obviously, I was told, in person, by who else; my good buddy Jesus.
Anyway, I'm here to bring good news for all of those who are longing to watch that live feed of the oil spill, that almost never works, because of the thousands all trying to watch it at the same time.
BP, of all people, have posted a delayed-live feed of the spill. It works by not actually being live, but loading a recorded clip of live feed, which when loaded, will be about 10 minutes behind live, but at least it works.
Hopefully we'll get a real show soon, when the leak changes color more, because word is that we may have just tapped into a well of less gas-rich and more pure-oil-rich goodness. You can expect that camera to go down whenever BP tries something new too, because they don't want you seeing them fail live.
