Ladies and gentlemen, as I type this, Obama is talking to me. Yes, me. Through means of broadcast. General Motors is now officially in bankruptcy.
THANK. GOD.
The company as of now is a mere $172 in debt. Not dollars. Not thousands of dollars. Not even millions of dollars.
Yes.
GM is $172 billion dollars in debt. Billion. Billion... With a B.
Chrysler has also successfully been approved to merge with Italian automaker FIAT.
THANK. GOD.
Italy already knows how to make small good cars that last a long time. My saucy compadres can finally teach my American brethren how the hell to squeeze an eco-mobile in between the Dodge Ram and Chrysler 300. It IS possible, and it WILL happen.
So long as nothing touches the status of the Dodge Challenger, lest people may die.
Soon, world, we may see some better means of transportation. Better than a muscle car, no, but more fuel efficient and more importantly, Italian, hell yes.
We just need to all have a little faith. Like that guy building that Corvette in the picture, wearing a Rusty Wallace #2 Ford shirt. Yeah. Like him.
Until Obama gives us more words of hope, keep on truckin' America.
Er...
Keep on... Priusin'.
Ew. Bad taste.
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