Behold. JesusPhone.

So I've gone on a 10 day leave without warning or reason.

Damn, I got your reason right here.

Even Trent Reznor is late to things. So blame me. You'll live on.

I'm here now. right? That's right.

I think I need to share a story - a revelation - an epiphany - that I had in the deepest of slumbers. It was about the one and only (thus far, I'm not allowed to give details) GodPhone... and yes, I'm a religious Italian - so before you go telling me this is wrong, keep in mind I'm in good with my pal Jesus, and the Don of all Dons. So word.

I know how Jesus felt with his old carrier, really. He's all, "Man, I ain't got no service anywhere." So I'm all, "Ok Jesus, I got you." I explained to him the wonders that fit in your pocket along with 5 hours of battery life, and he's blown away that he essentially created this thing.

So I see him again like 5 days later, and he's all, "Man, I saw what you were talking about in a vision of mine, and I hear ya - touch is the way to go." Jesus had a 3rd gen iPod for I don't know how long, and he loved the lights and the touch sensitive buttons and all I guess, so he was basically in awe of this thing. He likes the email most of all. He even went and made a custom ringtone. Norman Greenbaum's Spirit in the Sky. Go figure - Greenbaum was Jewish.

Anyway, I guess Jesus is really pleased with his new iPod / Phone / Internet Communications Device. He's all "Wow. This iPhone thing, yeah, I'm down with it. This is great." So, naturally, I'm all, "Not as good as you, Jesus!" He tried finding himself on Google Maps. Come to find out, he has 2 places - here or here. He said that was ok that they got it wrong though, he didn't expect they would be able to put him everywhere.

We had ourselves a laugh and he hopped in Elvis's pink Cadillac, playing the remake of Pink Cadillac by Jerry Lee Lewis, and that was about it. He said he was going to see what he could help out with in Decision '08.

Good times, good times.

I'm glad to be back all, thank you. I'll try to warn you next time I disappear for mass amounts of time. Wouldn't want you to get worried, now would I?