Sunday, July 20, 2008

Wal*Mart: Stuff It, Smiley

I can't stand this shit any more. Someone, for the love of all that's good and expensive, tear down Wal*Mart.

This store isn't the heaven I thought it was made out to be when I didn't actually work there. What a hole. Fatass balding managers, old people that forget where the front door is located, and sweaty guys in non-requirement tank tops working the stock room in back.

Disgustingly pathetic.

Check this out.

Remind you of anything? Please don't tell me you're that stupid - even I couldn't believe that.

That video, as oddly sick and humorous as it is, is sad and true.

All of the overweight people putting around on their little power scooter cartmobiles, families towing 2 or 3 carts full of garbage, and people walking in with plastic money to get an entertainment system worth of a listen by Stevie Wonder.

the customers are exactly what brought that retail shit chain to what they are today. They are the epitome of the man that made the dump what it is today, even though he's been 6 feet under for a decade and a half. Can you tell how much I respect him? Yeah. Just about as much as the rock with his name and date.

You know the kind - hell, you probably know someone who is one, or you just may be one yourself. They come in, they shop around and crack the same jokes about things that people have been cracking since the first HoleMart opened in 936 AD,and they generally move things around only to leave 20 minutes later. After it's all done, they didn't buy shit, but that's ok, because the person that followed them into the store left the store sans $200.

I'm all for the Confederacy and the south and Cracker Barrel and RC Cola, really, but holy crap. This is the one time I'd ever support anything with the word Union.

Besides, Sam's Choice tastes like warm liquid plumber. Really. It does.

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