You have no idea. Honestly.
You kids think you've got it bad, with your worrying that you could get addicted to drugs or something. Let me tell you. Your school teachers don't know jack.
Notice at all how I haven't been around here, or anywhere for that fact in a while?
I'm telling you. It can become a major problem. No, not the drugs or the alcohol. I'm talking about cream colored holiday cheer. The kind of shit that can land you behind bars if you decide to take your fathers deep purple '72 GTO out after a tall cold one. Some of you are thinking, no, this can't happen to me... but yes, it could happen.
You probably think it's funny or something. How can I get hooked on some drink? It's not like Pepsi. When you pour this ice cold brew, you immediately lose sight of everything around you. That could happen, and probably will.
It's unreal. It really is, but let me tell you, it's the real thing. It's strong stuff, no matter what you think, and no matter how much you believe, and no matter how you try to water it down.
Friends, family, apprentices, clansmen...
Stay the hell away from eggnog this holiday season. Think of your kids. Please.
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