Monday, December 3, 2007

Great, you left the defroster off

Let me be frank. I live in the northeast, and we're all gonna be fucked.

If this is any indication of what is to come this winter, Cupertino is going to be hearing even more of me.

Maybe there's a reason I don't own any Christmas cds. Maybe there's a reason I don't / can't play ice hockey. Perhaps, just maybe, there's some unknown reason why I didn't go outside, cut down a tree that could otherwise provide me with air, bring it inside, decorate it for Jesus, put crap for my family under it, most of which I'll probably never see after December 26th, throw the tree out to the curb when I'm done, and proceed to clean up the mess myself.

Sounds like the meaning of the holidays, doesn't it?

Matt Lauer knows about meaning. Kudos en masse go out to him for defending the Nintendo Wii against buying shares of stock for Christmas on the Today show. What a guy.


Oh, I forgot a small detail! I destroyed my wrist in an on-ice experience, and as much as I know you'll miss me, I'll have to take it easy. Doc's orders.

I'll miss you too. Really.

If you see the guys who did this to me, they had bike chains. One had a tire iron. Leather coats on all of them. Something about angels on the back... Festive bastards.

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