Monday, December 3, 2007

It's On

Let's do this.

Do you honestly think you have what it takes to go against me?

You don't know the mess you've just gotten into.

I am the great provider. As stated here in my first post. You can't honestly believe that you can give everyone what they want. That's why they come to me. I know what they want. Who's they? Look around you.

Yeah, that's right. You read that correctly. I assume. Want even further proof?

Owned. So they say these days.

There are some things that can't be replaced or replicated. Wal-Mart, Ramen, the G4 iMac, Mount Dew Pitch Black... Not the second one - that sour shit, you know? That was just rancid.

I'm harder better faster and stronger than you will ever be... and yes, I just stole that from the hit Kanye West song. Why? Well, because it's got the mad phat beats.

You... Wow.

Even Sir Bono couldn't forgive you for that. Not even Michael Eisner. Not even this man.

Do you feel lucky? Do ya? Punk.

Everybody, this sad sack is Joe Thorton, and this what I've warned you about. I hope I've taught you well enough not to listen to those kinds of people. Even if they offer you candy... or free CRT Monitors. Sure our last names sound alike, but there's a reason I have a snow white blog of purity.

Just keep in mind what exactly happened to the flagship white handheld wonders once the black iPod came along. Yeah. Don't let that happen twice. Even the weak such as yourself can resist. Do it for the kids, or whatever inspires you. The PS3 or something. I don't know... Aw crap.

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