Saturday, June 28, 2008

So the local High School graduates today...


They passed classes. Most of them... and they all have cars... most of them. Unfortunately. If they could all just pull an organized pile-up, and eliminate their on-the-road status, I wouldn't mind at all. I would even accept old people.

Ever know those kinds of people that shouldn't be allowed on the roads?

First off, was some guy on his cell phone - in New York State, where it's illegal - and he decided that stop signs aren't his bag, and he would pull a Cali-Stop and roll through it. I lay on the horn and ride his bumper for the next 5 blocks.

Then there was an old geezer in a pickup truck with "for sale" signs all over it. He decided it would be great fun to do 15mph down an entire main road that runs north half way through the east side of the city. He turned off, not to bad.

My personal favorite, an arrogant teen in one of those gay street tuners. He thinks his car is hot stuff, so he revs it at a red light. The light turns green, and his car pops and sort of bounces like he forgot which was the gas pedal. Nice job kid.

The always fun, "look-at-my-Hummer-drifting-into-your-lane" was another point in my day. Good times. She got a good blast of the horn too. If I weren't driving my nice pristine 1997 Chevy S-10, I would have taken a shot at her with my door - turned her into a road smear.

Do me a favor if you have a Hummer. You know how I love them. Please - disable your airbags, ram it full speed head on into a concrete wall, and holy crap, don't brace yourself for impact. Thanks! Your busses don't need to be on the roads of Miami, they belong in a desert in the middle east. Personally, I really really really like this fun educational site that's all about the Hummer and it's... whatever it has. Shit? Fake rich kids? Bullshit? Heffer excrement? You decide, because I can't pick.

Last on that list, of course, who do I get behind on a main road heading east? That's right, Colonel Sanders and his extra crispy thigh-mobile. If I had a Subaru XT6, you can bet that wedge would have jacked his rear wheels off the ground and I would have hauled ass for him down the road.

In the words of Fake Steve Jobs (who is back by the way), I hate Frigtards. Will someone tell them to please turn in or shred their licenses, and all important legal documents declaring that they are indeed legal U.S. citizens? That would be great. Thanks.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hey asshole, you didnt do anything you just said you did you fat cocksucker get a life, your too much of a pussy to do anything you just named, fuck your gay car too DICKWAD.

Skippy said...

Thank you for that highly constructive comment. It was very intelligently written and well thought out.

All I did was hit the horn, and you don't believe that? Would you believe that I hit your mother? Harder than any car door I've ever slammed too.

For the record, my Chevy S-10 is not a car. Yeah, you only wish you could touch this. Thanks for reading, and have a nice day.

Skippy said...

Wait, 2:30 in the morning you commented? Don't you have school tomorrow? You should be getting some sleep young lady.