Double the Fridays?

Wal-Mart is apparently so high and mighty, that they've requested that Black Friday be 2 days long. Meaning Saturday would turn into another Friday.

What?!

Tom Park of Fucillo's Auto Shitplex wants to work his magic too. He's gonna call Friday, Green Friday. Why? Who knows. He doesn't. I don't either. Why not just carry on daily life without trying to change the days of the week just to get off on the "look ma', I played God" feeling. For the life of me, I don't understand.

Wal-Mart, why have you forsaken me? With your mothering employees, high quality products, and every day low prices, all I have to ask you is why? Can't we maybe think of something more important, like the task at hand? Which would be to sell as many Wal-Mart brand deli meats and baked goods as possible.

I'm going to be off on holiday for the Thanksgiving weekend. Thursday is my tryptophan binge, Friday is the day in which I get to wake up at 3 am to go shopping and leagally deck anyone who steps in my path regardless of race, sex or age. Pray to whatever God you see fancy that your first grader doesn't try to snatch up a Taylor Swift cd that happens to be right in my way of Garth Brooks, because so help me, I will roundhouse kick their head from their shoulders.

On that note, enjoy your holiday, and I'll see you bright and early in electronics on Friday! In advance, if I accidentally deck you, keep in mind I know Louis T Brindisi personally, and I'll claim whiplash as I sit in court in my red Budweiser #8 Hoveround.

God's speed to you and yours.