Tuesday, November 27, 2007

How to make do


I just had this deep meaningful discussion with some guy about how, for one reason or another, he didn't know what a homicide was. Then he goes on to tell me that he was once involved in the Philadelphia legal system. There's some good news. No wonder we're all going to hell in a hand basket.

Well. This morning. I had an epiphany. Much like when I thought I was within 2 degrees of Bono on the JobsBlog. However I was let down with that one. No Bono. However, I now feel a connection with the one and only Matt Lauer. That's right. Today show leader, the one next to Al Roker. River Dancing Matt. Yes. Him.

He presented me with some glorious info this morning. No, not to call 1-866-411-SONG when I have a tune in my head I don't know the lyrics to, but instead, how to profit from my online time of posting to this uniquely one of a kind blog of wonder that will one day be the home page to about 1.2 million Americans that find their way to the InterWeb. All I have to do is finally use some of my ins that I have with planet earth, pull some strings here and their, suck back a few Chai Lattes, and watch as the $$ and Bling (so to speak) rolls in.

I will once again turn to my buddies over at the wildly amazing Google, and perhaps the great folks that run my city, and I'll end up employing myself. What do I buy anyway? Hot pockets? Ramen? Pepsi Summer Mix on backorder? Once in a while I splurge and swap the latter out with Coke Blak, but honestly. I don't need to be rich. Just pay a few bills here and there, pick up a 2008 Dodge Challenger next year (in hemi orange) and start buying up all of the G4 Sunflower-esque iMacs that I can find. No luxuries, nothing that I don't absolutely and positively need. Just the important stuff. You understand.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that it all comes out of New York tax dollars. I knew you'd be ok with it.

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