Not the brightest knife in the shed

Some people just have know idea what they want to do with their lives. Some want to be officers of the law, others just want to be me. While the second is impossible, there are other things you can strive for in your life. Just don't expect too much. The more you expect, the harder you're let down when you fail miserably and then blame yourself, which you rightly should.

That's ok. I forgive you though.

Anyway, the Interweb can be an interesting place. Yes, I know. A lot of people can't be trusted. Like the ones that lie about themselves and half of the crap they do, or then there are those that have no lives so they make an online alter-ego for some unknown sick reason, or there are even people that use the internet just so they can hope to meet 14 year old kids, but that's why we have this man to keep us all safe.

There are however those like me. The elite. The higher mind. The power. Then there are some that don't get that. When I tell you not to touch the hot stove, that means if I see you near it, I'm going to beat you with copper electrical wire. Are we clear?

I just figured this would be the opportune time to let you know where I stand. Why did I bring this up just now? Come on, you can't guess? What else is the basis to everything I ever do? No, surprisingly not Steve Jobs. Close.

Apple Inc. That's what. Ok, and Steve Jobs. Come on though, have you ever talked to the man? Pure genius. David Pogue knows what I'm talking about. By the way, yeah, he's right up there on the Jobsian level.

Now, when I tell you that Apple Computers are great and amazing and the shit and all that hip jive talk, do you think I'm feeding you bull, or joking? Do I joke? I don't joke. If you think I am, then you're funnier than you know. I thought I liked Vista. Then I knew that I didn't. See? Simple as that.

My point tis evening kids, believe what I say. Don't go against someone when it involves something you have no comprehension of.

There's not a whole hell of a lot of forgiveness I can offer for that. Idiocy is worth about 72 cents. Which won't get you a McDonald's Snack Wrap. Which means that you must have just hit rock bottom in new levels of low. Look on the bright side. If you were a goldfish, none of that would matter.

See, you'll be fine.

If you don't fail.

So don't do it.

Fail.

As in don't fail.

Even though you probably will.